Delusions and Morgellons

Republished on request ~

When my mother was dominated into a meek shadow of herself, I was the one who thought that she actually might have something to say that was not being heard. As I grew up, her eccentricity grew into full blown psychosis and eventually she was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She got treated, and I lost the lively, if sometimes bizarre person that was my mother into a submissive, depressed shadow…… She got a lot of medicines, but no one who felt that what she wanted to say was worth listening. In my eyes, it is the problem and her behaviour just the symptoms. My main feeling in this situation is that as a daughter, by not believing her or appreciating that she had her own perspective, I failed her.

What does this have to do with Morgellons? Well, I’m a behavioural scientist, not a medical one, so what I’m looking at is behaviour. If there is a whole bunch of people behaving out of the ordinary, its enough to spark my curiosity as to what is happening.

I first heard of the Morgellons disease on some site a few years ago as I StumbledUpon and scanned through a page that seemed creepy. Fibres coming out of the skin, depression, fatigue, joint pain ……. uh, whatever and moved on. I coincidently came upon some page that talked about Morgellons as “delusional parasitosis”—a mental health condition characterized by the belief that one has parasites or bugs crawling on one’s skin…. oooookay, this was something I could maybe relate with if I read descriptions rather than the exotic label. So I read around. This is about 2-3 years ago.

As I searched, I found images and images of fibres with “features” like claws, nodes and what nots described. I could make out vague similarities in the shapes, but hey, I’m no authority on such stuff. What remained in my mind was the way people wrote. I could imagine entire lives being taken over by this fantasy, if indeed it was one. Could visualize people isolating themselves to avoid spreading it to their loved ones, frantically cleaning their homes, and bodies over and over constantly, peering worriedly through microscopes at stuff that was coming out of their bodies (whether it actually was or not, to them, it was), living in a constant state of itch and pain….. looking for treatment, but being laughed out of everywhere.

The Morgellons Research Foundation was created on the initiative of Mary Leitao a mother concerned for her son Drew who suffered from a sore in which she once found a strange fiber. She found many such fibers after that. She tried finding medical explanations and reached a dead end. Some discussion forums led her to other people with similar symptoms, and her quest for finding answers found momentum. She was the one to name this illness (which the medical people call a delusion, or a “self-inflicted condition”).

Her search for answers made her the target of criticism on one hand, while burdening her with the hopes of countless people counting on her to find a way.

Honestly, I did think some of the people delusional when I read stuff about aliens, conspiracies, and what not, but I see them more as a need for explanations of why they were suffering rather than an actual description of the suffering. Even if their diagnosis is a fantasy, they need attention. What they are going through is real.

Think of it as a person pulling out a gun. It may or may not be loaded. The person may actually be security, but if your imagination tells you its a terrorist, the heart attack you could get is real. Okay, this is an extreme example, but what I’m saying is that our perceptions are what we react to. They may not be real, but to us, they are. The earth rotates, but we still say sunrise.

I still have no clue whether Morgellons fibres actually come out of bodies or not, but one thing I am certain of is that there is something massive troubling a lot of people. My logic is not as medical as most sites have, but for whatever it is worth……

  • All of us bloggers know how tough it is to get people to comment. How tough would it be for a large number of people to not only have similar ailment, but also spend a large amount of time obsessed with it, and posting so many images voluntarily?
  • As a behavioural scientist, I see many people bid for attention, and while it is not impossible that this is a misunderstanding, or that people are generally “creating” their own symptoms through reading on the net and hyping themselves up, I find it unlikely that so many people can coordinate the nature of fibre photos. I am not discounting that floating fibers find their way into wounds routinely and that pulling out a fiber that’s caught in a scab is still painful.
  • Most people don’t want to alienate themselves. Not by isolating themselves in the house, not by making repulsive disclosures about themselves, and not by continuing to do them in spite of ridicule.
  • People also like to cling to authority, and perceive saying “I don’t know” as a loss of face. Its easier to reject what you don’t know, rather than face it and have to say that you don’t. Additionally, no one wants to deal with panic that they don’t know how to resolve and some of these people sound mighty odd. I don’t blame them – I get incoherent with a toothache within a couple of hours. If I itch, I can’t sleep. So it IS possible that doctors have been in a hurry to dismiss these people as crazy. Its easier for my self image for the question to be crazy than for me not to know the answer.

And so on…. Reminds me of the days when the earth was flat, and the telephone was dismissed as an entertaining but useless device.

On the other hand, I can understand how a doctor with a workload doesn’t see anything special in the lesions and wants the patient to meet a shrink. I wonder if any patients did, and what happened to their illness because of that.

I see this as a disease. People are suffering, they are not at ease, they complain of a similar problem, therefore disease. Its simple. If the “dictionary” doesn’t have it, maybe its time for an update. If there is no treatment, maybe its time for research.

An interesting discussion, let me not spoil it with a description.

Mayo Clinics have included Morgellons in their Some patients have tried to be as credible as possible and provided the logic and proofs many people seem to need before they can even consider something while others claim cures/relief treatments.

I was touched at the practical but sensitive article where I came to know that this research had been initiated. I was very happy to read that the CDC was undertaking research into the subject under the name of Unexplained Dermopathy. I felt that these people needed some answers.

Somehow, on this subject, all sides concerned (except – politicians!) seem to be so hooked to who is right and who is wrong (diagnosis and skepticism) that hardly anyone is in touch with the fact that these are people suffering or being shocked by such claims, and people’s beliefs that are being ridiculed.

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10 thoughts on “Delusions and Morgellons”

  1. You guys are amazing XOXO.  The is so much unexplained (and I guess will always be) when we actually become sensitive/aware.  I hope you find the answers, and that the answers heal you.

  2. You guys are amazing XOXO.  The is so much unexplained (and I guess will always be) when we actually become sensitive/aware.  I hope you find the answers, and that the answers heal you.

  3. You guys are amazing XOXO.  The is so much unexplained (and I guess will always be) when we actually become sensitive/aware.  I hope you find the answers, and that the answers heal you.

  4. You guys are amazing XOXO.  The is so much unexplained (and I guess will always be) when we actually become sensitive/aware.  I hope you find the answers, and that the answers heal you.

  5. Why is it that there were many reports of Morgellons before the use of silicone or high density polyethylene. It looks to me like Staninger is simply using the suffering of the Morgies to make money and further her personal agenda.

  6. Why is it that there were many reports of Morgellons before the use of silicone or high density polyethylene. It looks to me like Staninger is simply using the suffering of the Morgies to make money and further her personal agenda.

  7. Dr. Staninger is the only one who knows what this is. Her main treatment for getting out the fibers which are made of plastic is by using her recommended far infrared saunas and her supplements. For anyone interested in finding out more about her protocol can find it here:

    Dr. Staninger protocol information

    Dr. Staninger is treating people with fibers and lesions in their skin. (The FDA only allows M.D.s to treat morgellons disease so please only refer to the fibers if contacting Dr. Staninger for treatment)

  8. Hi Maggiemae and Anne,

    I am really touched that both of you chose to come here and share your feelings on the matter. I can read the honesty in your words, and while I have no clue on “what is right”, I can appreciate that both of you have been through and are going through an experience that changes your life deeply.

    I really hope that we find some light on this subject that can help you and countless others find peace from this pressure.

    I admire the strength with which you can still go on and remain functional in a judgmental world. Keep strong. Something is bound to evolve in this situation.


  9. I Really dont leave comments anymore but your unique blog really pulled on some heartstrings for me. A couple of years back my husband was hospitalized for sudden muscle loss, confusion and burning rash that covered his upper torso and head. Prior to this E.R. visit we were told that he had ALS and the cognitive change I had seen in him was just depression and I was just searching.

    Now because I had other family members with me to verify the rapid change in him they hospitalized him with infectious disease work up and neuro-psych. monitoring his case. This doctor also was a behavioral scientist who spent many days observing and testing to in fact prove that there were both frontal and temporal cognitive changes. Extensive testing was done and then repeated after he was treated with albendazole for the parasitic antibodies that were triggered on his blood work. The second set of test showed significant improvement in all cognitive areas. His personality was back- not that flat stare..(I now have that). He also gained muscle strength and could walk and feed himself again after a month of
    therapy. We had hope.

    After returning home he did decline again but our infectious disease doctor moved out of state and the Neuro-Psych Dr. was advised by the hospital not to comment on our case.

    This is where i thought your article was a little ironic. I then took him to the Mayo Clinic emergency department on advice from another doctor who felt something was there it was just beyond his practice. Mayo Clinic was the worst experience for us. They would not even try to contact the other hospital to confirm what I was telling them. I was told that with neuro-disease rashes are common and I was not accepting his diagnosis. They did not want to hear about my familys similar symptoms and told me so. Meanwhile we all have rashes, platelets dropped, headaches for months, vision changes, weight gain and lossses. CFS, muscle atrophy.

    Oh and yes the CDC is supposedly doing some kind of research. This they would promise after any publicity we did trying to raise awareness and here we are several years later. With the loss of my husband and my Father from this disease and now I am loosing the ablility to walk and still have severe sores on my head with cronic pain. I try to ignore and go on because I dont want to waste any time begging someone to listen any more.

    It has been years since I looked under the microscope. I dont like to look at it any more. I already know something is there-

    Thanks again for your objectives!!

  10. I wanted to personally thank you for your kind words regarding my blog site. I find it very refreshing and it altered my mood from funk to neutral, which all things considered is a good day for me. I was not schizoprenic 14 years ago. I actually had the world in my hands. I now have two distinct personalities which were thrust upon me once I came down with the lesions. Behavior? I am a model citizen. I have a clean record, have never been arrested, and raised two very talented and intellectual children. I have been successful in just about everything I have put my hands to. Being forced to mask this hedious and life-stealing affliction has generated the two personalities. I can not go out in public without looking like a freakshow. The looks, the lack of contact (no hugs from my daughter-in-law) and the fear of being outed, has left me a shell. I barely look someone straight in the eye for fear they will see the lesions under all the makeup and give me “that” look. I have been forced to alter who I am – behavior modification? This psychologically is more painful than the actual affliction’s affect in the body! In this world I have learned never to “assume” anything….or discount anything, either! This affliction has the “star” spot with it’s own schill website (Morgwatch – who’s funding it?) and posters that make the rounds bashing, discrediting, and debunking. Have you ever known of another affliction that warrants this? Try Lou Gherig’s or Parkinsons, or Lupus, or….get my point? Why only THIS one? Because it is a big coverup, big money involved, big lawsuits to ward off…I am certain. There are too many brilliant minds that deal with ebola, hunta, leishmaniasis, bacteria from the stone ages, separating photons, lab on a chip…on a daily basis. The fact that all of us have white bleached out scars is just one common aspect. In 58 years I have accidentally cut myself numerous times, wounds healed, even with a tan, the melanin returned after time. Not so here. The fibers that twirl and move and “strike” at you are not 50,000 peoples or more, universal delusion. These fibers are everywhere. Pull your nice clean shirt or sweater down tight. At an angle, you can see them growing. The handles and edges of your purse, steering wheel, makeup bag…there they are, growing. That is only part 1 of a two-part affliction. There are various types of sensors, chips, and nanotech (buckyball bundles) that are also along for the ride. My take? To monitor us in the field. They HAVE got it down to an art. Look up stencils (Alfred Mann Institute) and take it a step further. The “applications” for this is endless and I resent being a guinea pig so someone else can have the Lexus and 5 bathroom home at our expense. It’s major money to be made (or lost) – and my wish? That some scientist that finds himself “terminal” will have the kahonas to expose this without fear of being terminated, knowing he or she righted a very bad wrong and resisted being owned. The PTB can justify anything, twist thoughts, words, so that the meak conscience they possess will be passified. They are the delusional. Quantum everything. Waves rolling, over, around, through….and laws that govern them. Karma exists, Newton proved it. I get some satisfaction knowing that. Thanks for your open and “kind” mind. You will never know how welcome that is!

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