Mean what you say and say what you mean

silhouette of a solo climber free climbing an overhang

Nope. It’s not the same thing, but its important.

Be careful of the words you use – they are your point of contact with others. If you use them lightly, people tend to take you lightly.

Avoid making promises on the spur of the moment that may be difficult to keep. If you make them, live up to your word. Saying you forgot, or avoiding calls, or simply doing a half-baked job shows you as an unreliable person.

On the other hand, but infinitely worse, is when you speak in angry words emotion,without really thinking beyond your hurt. Tell a loved one how much you hate him, and it starts getting linked in future episodes. You may not mean it when you are calm, but the next time you are angry, you will, again. These are small blows that shake a relationship, but enough blows are…. well – enough!

When you are angry, stop. Stop talking, leave the premises, whatever. Your anger may be justified, but if you express it calmly, you are more likely to get constructive outcomes. Avoid the need to spew ugly words at the object of your anger, because no matter how the object is, it is you speaking them.

I don’t know if this makes sense, but I find it helps me if I do it.

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