Five things that will happen if India finds methane on Mars

NASA is planning to launch their next mission to Mars on Monday, and I went on a flight of fantasy, hoping that we found all the methane there is on Mars before NASA got there.

What would happen if India found methane on Mars?

Here are five guaranteed things that will happen.

The space tanker mafia

All that gas will have to be brought to earth, and I don’t see how our tried and tested tanker mafias can be left out of it.

Bill for reservations in Extra terrestrial gas

The Congress party (if it still exists then) or whoever inherits their practices will table a bill for reservations in Extraterrestrial Gas. BJP or whoever inherits its paranoias and reluctance that anyone except the powerful have any rights will WALK OUT.

The Space ready products market

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh (hopefully someone else will be Prime Minister) will revolutionize India’s market for products that work in space by making available inexpensive space ready products from China via Walmart.

Ambani will control prices

By virtue of controlling most of the gas fields on Mars as well as ISRO, Ambani will be able to set appropriate gas prices to prevent falling into poverty.

American Invasion

By virtue of controlling large stores of gas, India will finally become eligible for the attention of the world’s largest military exporter of democracy. Farmers whose land is acquired for building space shuttle stops will petition to the first world to finally put us out of our misery.

Luckily I controlled my imagination on time. NASA is planning their launch on Monday, but India hasn’t captured the methane yet. Watch this space avidly.

Pun intended.

Note: The potential for really rocking this post with images has not escaped me, but I do not have the time. If you send an appropriate illustration, naturally you will get a link to your (family friendly) website in its credits 😉

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