Learning from DGP V Dinesh Reddy

Ah… it is that time of the year when pesky women wear tantalizing clothes and the poor section of the human population infected with penises is helpless to prevent said penises dragging them onto rape scenes.

Andhra Pradesh director general of police (DGP) V. Dinesh Reddy is the latest to take a hallowed place of honor to raise awareness about these little understood appendages that attach themselves to a significant part of the population and drag its victims onto crime scenes, spoiling the lives and reputations of these innocents immeasurably.

Cutting edge research points to a potentially lethal combination of the sight of skin (without hair to cover it) combined with ingestion of our traditional aphrosodiac food leading to short circuits in neurons that allow aliens to take control of the mind of the victim of the penis, leading to short term memory loss and a propensity to rape.

The food is particularly concerning, since common food used for people of all ages and genders seems to be causing adverse reactions in some people afflicted with penises.

Considering the widespread worldwide epidemic of penises, he salutes all women in the world for carefully controlling the stimulus and food of these victims so that most of them are able to live somewhat legal lives in spite of this great affliction. It is not easy to create carefully controlled circumstances for over half the population, but he hopes that the few penile hijackings still happening can be controlled if the women really try.

However, another problem is on the horizon. Some of these penises have mutated and misfire on sight of the hairless skin of young children. While it is true that the profound wisdom of Dinesh Reddy can be applied to them too, it is proving to be a little too complicated for brain deficient humans. Can someone help?

We are stuck on adapting:

“When you are taking food which gives good josh, as time goes you tend to be more naughty… Rapes and all cannot be controlled by police. And people are turning out to be more fashionable. Even the villagers are wearing salwar-kameez from coastal Andhra villages where it used to be very traditional. All these things provoke these type of things, which is not in control of the police… So rapes per se increase or decrease, you cannot attribute to the police.”

This needs to be done in a child-friendly format so that very small kids can understand and protect men from penises too. Preverbal will be great, as some of these naughty, provocative kids begin really early… like a month or two… they really need to be up to date on careful protection of the men.

But we aren’t entirely stupid or lazy. We have already adapted

Particularly on rape to a query by press, DGP has said one of the factors is the provoking dress which is being worn as present day fashion for which police has no control.

to

Particularly on pedophilia to a query by press, DGP has said one of the factors is the provoking dress which is being worn as present day fashion for which police has no control.

A pious traditional women’s organization has offered the support of their numerous volunteers to spread awareness on these teachings in homes and schools.

Other feminist organizations have also come up with helpful suggestions to save these victims of penile hijackings. Suggestions range from castration to installing boards with holes every few meters in public areas. Others have suggested that victims of penises be strictly restricted to a bland diet. A third suggestion suggests blinding extreme cases and putting blinkers on mild ones to prevent unintended exposure.

Details unclear, but a delegation will be meeting the president soon (most people lower on the scale themselves are victims). Feel free to add suggestions so that we can protect a large part of our population from being hijacked by alien appendages and used as weapons against us.

Note: This is a piece of satire based on a true incident (quotes attributed to the DGP are real) of yet another instance of women being blamed for rapes.

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Comments 12

  • First & foremost Reddy be congratulated for telling the truth & only the truth which we leaned people could not learn for so many centuries. Provocative dress does excite sexual desire than some attires which are like Burkhas – there is no denying this fact. But the animal & bird world do have their own ways of enticing the
    opposite sex Reddy should suggest remidies for that also. However I do not know if police need to have any control on that or if that can be termed as Rape. Men also use sexy dress to impress.The result is
    RAPE! Justifiable! So punishing the rapist should be an offense. Those responsible people in office any where in
    the world should be rewarded as they in effect have defended, validated, justified,
    encouraged & even aided the act of raping. They, Andhra Pradesh DGP
    Dinesh Reddy, the author who coined the word ‘Slutwalk’ and such fellows
    should be regarded for the just punishmentthe so called scantily attired womenfolk.But so long the rules are not changed Reddy & rapists should be treated evenly. NO
    rapist should be punished. IF Reddy & the slut-walk men should offer themselves for the same treatment the rapist are subjected to? They are quite justified. is int?

    Well as fer as rape or for that matter any other heinous/evil crimes are
    concerned the incidence is a barometer of ‘how the Govt is running the
    society. Higher the people’s support & honor on the
    administrators/Govt lower such crimes. Legal system must be so amended to reward rapists and at the same time such DGPs must be rgarded as social reformers.

  • First & foremost Reddy be congratulated for telling the truth & only the truth which we leaned people could not learn for so many centuries. Provocative dress does excite sexual desire than some attires which are like Burkhas – there is no denying this fact. But the animal & bird world do have their own ways of enticing the
    opposite sex Reddy should suggest remidies for that also. However I do not know if police need to have any control on that or if that can be termed as Rape. Men also use sexy dress to impress.The result is
    RAPE! Justifiable! So punishing the rapist should be an offense. Those responsible people in office any where in
    the world should be rewarded as they in effect have defended, validated, justified,
    encouraged & even aided the act of raping. They, Andhra Pradesh DGP
    Dinesh Reddy, the author who coined the word ‘Slutwalk’ and such fellows
    should be regarded for the just punishmentthe so called scantily attired womenfolk.But so long the rules are not changed Reddy & rapists should be treated evenly. NO
    rapist should be punished. IF Reddy & the slut-walk men should offer themselves for the same treatment the rapist are subjected to? They are quite justified. is int?

    Well as fer as rape or for that matter any other heinous/evil crimes are
    concerned the incidence is a barometer of ‘how the Govt is running the
    society. Higher the people’s support & honor on the
    administrators/Govt lower such crimes. Legal system must be so amended to reward rapists and at the same time such DGPs must be rgarded as social reformers.

  • would like to make a point that a rape doesnt take place because of  a womans dress. whether it is provocative revealing or whatever. a rape takes places to satisfy the beastly desire of a male to have sex and satisfy his sexual urge. sometimes a rape is committed as a tool to subdue any opposition. have quite a few instances like chengiz khan, civil war in rawanda etc.

  • would like to make a point that a rape doesnt take place because of  a womans dress. whether it is provocative revealing or whatever. a rape takes places to satisfy the beastly desire of a male to have sex and satisfy his sexual urge. sometimes a rape is committed as a tool to subdue any opposition. have quite a few instances like chengiz khan, civil war in rawanda etc.

  • I used to think Dr.Zakir Naik is the only top notch loony to believe in this perverse logic now the DGP seems to be competing with Naik to unseat him. Sooner or later, am sure both these worthies will get more competition from the bigots among the Hindu Right wing.

  • I used to think Dr.Zakir Naik is the only top notch loony to believe in this perverse logic now the DGP seems to be competing with Naik to unseat him. Sooner or later, am sure both these worthies will get more competition from the bigots among the Hindu Right wing.

  • Normally i only read & avoid to give judgmental comments.This article is a piece of satire/sarcasm or i dunno wat to say..it covers a whole range of aphrosodiacs(i doubt if they exist at all),pedophilia,dresses,crime,criminals,criminology…laws & our society.Today is 31-12-2011.I know after some hours their will be adolescents out there celebrating a 1st of Jan 2012.Some guys/gals deadly drunk,gals in dresses not suitable fr the situation but just to compete they will wear so….It’s sad but true there will be some cases of rape,attempt to rape or eve teasing.
    Wat’s wrong if a senior police officer gave some tips to people?Do not the writer of this article herself suggest younger gals to dress carefully or according to situation?

    rape..yeah rapes..there are rapes in four walls of our houses,schools,or in situations least expected. Then why to criticize a piece of advice from senior most police officer of AP…coz this is a fact …everything is not hunky dory for men also.Rape allegations  are the most misused allegation all o’er world.

    Would be great if the writer can mail this piece to taslima nasreen.

  • Normally i only read & avoid to give judgmental comments.This article is a piece of satire/sarcasm or i dunno wat to say..it covers a whole range of aphrosodiacs(i doubt if they exist at all),pedophilia,dresses,crime,criminals,criminology…laws & our society.Today is 31-12-2011.I know after some hours their will be adolescents out there celebrating a 1st of Jan 2012.Some guys/gals deadly drunk,gals in dresses not suitable fr the situation but just to compete they will wear so….It’s sad but true there will be some cases of rape,attempt to rape or eve teasing.
    Wat’s wrong if a senior police officer gave some tips to people?Do not the writer of this article herself suggest younger gals to dress carefully or according to situation?

    rape..yeah rapes..there are rapes in four walls of our houses,schools,or in situations least expected. Then why to criticize a piece of advice from senior most police officer of AP…coz this is a fact …everything is not hunky dory for men also.Rape allegations  are the most misused allegation all o’er world.

    Would be great if the writer can mail this piece to taslima nasreen.

  • excellent read .  would be great if the writer can mail this piece to Mr. Reddy. 

  • excellent read .  would be great if the writer can mail this piece to Mr. Reddy. 

  • i have not read the article will read it today only thn i’ll able to comment on it…

  • i have not read the article will read it today only thn i’ll able to comment on it…

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