- My Income Tax accounts. Someone at the accountant’s office fucked up and misplaced my bills and statements, etc. This was three years ago. I haven’t been able to consistently follow up and sort out that mess for three years now. Which is sad, because I don’t earn enough to be paying anything, and should be getting deductions back, if only I followed enough to file. I’m scared about this, because Wide Aware is a business account in the bank, so maybe more checking?
- Clearing out my credit card bill. Since Nisarga was born, I have not been able to complete and clear my credit card payments as I usually used to, with the result that I am paying a lot of money in interest.
- Nisarga’s entry on the ration card. He has a birth certificate, but his name is still not on a ration card – though seeing the Airtel fiasco, it is another matter completely if it is any use putting it there. We don’t get rations on it anyway.
- Filing for passport, driving licence. I had better get them made, and fast, unless I want to be in trouble. Nothing seems happening without these.
In other news, there are other things piling up that need done:
- Nisarga is overdue for some expensive tests. I need to stop dithering and get them done, because his health matters.
- I am thinking of getting some psychotherapy for the depression and whatever else is found in the garbage in my head. That needs done.
- Figuring out the scenario with the husband. I’d rather have a quick divorce and get my new documents in my new name, but that is an irresponsible reason to decide
- Transporting my things I left behind at home, and figuring out a way to do that with a kid in tow.
- Figuring out income and future. Where am I going?
In the background are constant tapes playing.
Love you all for your support.
- A relative warns me not to hassle my father with burdens at this age.
- Neighbour woman I say a random “hi” to after 5-6 years advises me to not get involved with any more men – this resembles my own conclusion, but is beyond insulting as an opening line. Particularly with sympathy to people whose lives I ruined.
- Father is forever trying to keep me at home. If I go down to the shop, he wants me to return fast. If I go to meet friends, I shouldn’t. They are “bad influence”. Don’t stay awake late, sleep early, don’t speak with men, etc.
- Apparently, the few people I knew had always felt we were a mismatched couple. So why had they not said something?
- Another epic from another relative. No one is going to give me a home after this. We shouldn’t complain when “our own coin is fake”. Yeah, “fake coin” is a metaphor for me. Thanks.