Trust in online relationships

I am planning restarting the series on internet relationships. The next subject I will be taking up is trust. Looking for your insights too.
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
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By trust, the scope of what I am looking at is fairly specific. I am speaking of trust on the internet. What makes you trust someone?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut the recognition of a human being the handle. Emphasis on ‘a’.
PunditComment
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Who speaks truth.
mazher50
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut – its always your heart and mind – a sort of trial and error we r looking for the one who appears different in the crowd here
dharkhanravi
September 22, 2011
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How do you win the trust of someone you are newly introduced to? Are you able to make out who trusts whom in an online group?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
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Are there any specific things you must know about someone in order to trust them – meeting in life, specific info, age, ideas, gender….?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Yes provide specific info, age, m/status etc., few things cannot be disclosed like address/tel no. till 2 parties trusts each other.
mazher50
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut —– no thing more than your ‘gut-feeling’ will strengthen your trust factor.
FidaIqbal
September 22, 2011
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Do you trust someone you meet on the internet. What do you trust them about, what will you not trust them about?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut trust them for they know me not.not trust them for they might hv a propaganda i know not!
I_yam_nendu
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut I married someone I met on the internet – twitter to be precise πŸ˜‰ @rum1t
neepareek
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut I trust u totally πŸ˜›
Speaking_Rabbit
September 22, 2011
Totally? You sure? What invites that trust? RT @Speaking_Rabbit: @Vidyut I trust u totally πŸ˜›
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut well we rnt really meeting or anything trying to help each only and giving updates πŸ˜›
Speaking_Rabbit
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Trust, online or offline, is based on our perceptions about the person. Offline- we get more data points.. so, easier to build trust
jay_ambadi
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Trust on internet is similar to trust in real life. You trust a person that adds up and don’t trust one who doesn’t. Mostly gut feel
Stupidosaur
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut if i have someone like you i will trust cause i read a lot of yr tweets ,shows your state of mind, type of person u are can bet on u
dharkhanravi
September 22, 2011
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If a situation invites you to participate, but you don’t know the other person/people, what do you do to make the decision to trust or not?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Check various social internet IDs (FB/Google/Yahoo) etc – it should not be one way.
mazher50
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut if you are adventurous u will fix a meeting in a public place i guess
dharkhanravi
September 22, 2011
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How much interaction, or what kind of interaction would be needed before you give someone your… phone number, for example?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut ab jawab dene ka faayda kya πŸ˜›
SleightOrScam
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Primary Phone numbers in these days must be strictly given to people you know PERSONALLY
VenuSpeak
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut it depends upon the balance betwn one’s needs for security and adventure
JOKEPAL
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut for people you don’t know in person must be avoided .. Secondary no can be changed #MyView
VenuSpeak
September 22, 2011
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Okay, a more specific situation. Say a person you interact with on Twitter is in town and would like to meet for a coffee. Do you go or not?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut I did. And it was great. I think the bigger question isnt do you trust X or Y, its do you trust yourself enough to be ‘discovered’.
shakwrites
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut hain? Obviously GO. ye bhi koi poochne ki cheez hai πŸ˜€
SleightOrScam
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Never :p
sonaliranade
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut depends on the gender πŸ™‚
emkay456
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Sure if he/she is not a Muslim fundo
mustikhan
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut That depends on the profile that I have created mentally, about the person from reading his/her tweets..
jay_ambadi
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut haha now thats something to think abt πŸ˜›
Speaking_Rabbit
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut If it is you, I’d go..
WordOfTheFree
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut easy. If its vidyut i go. πŸ™‚
abhikb2005
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut No – needs times to know each other before any meeting.
mazher50
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut if I have the time, then yes. I met a bunch load of fun people via Twitter.
Kazarelth
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Of course. Tweet-ups are good.
thekarachikid
September 22, 2011
@thekarachikid @Vidyut depends – if they r not creepy -yes .
_Harshika
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut of course u should to find out the kind of person u r communicating with : curiosity
harpal28
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut For older guys (like me) it’s not generally threatening. I’d like to meet fellow tweeters and wd hope that that feeling is mutual.
samlcarr
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut I would. There’s no harm putting a face to the name. Taking it any further would be the choice.
SharanyaMohanB
September 22, 2011
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Does gender have anything to do with trusting someone? Your being male or female, or the other person being male or female?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut I AM AFRAID OF NO ONE, I AM A MAN, WENCH! Eh, not at all. But that’s entirely my point of view.
Kazarelth
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Gender is the topmost factor when it comes to Internet relation/friend..
sharadbjain
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut trusting depends on the personality type you are, not on the others to may/may not trust, unless your sixth sense tells u otherwise
atulkanji
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut i think not.. trust is not gender specific normally
JOKEPAL
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut yes. A lot. It’s a taken when women want to meet you for real, they are friends without benefits. With men, got to take it real slow
SharanyaMohanB
September 22, 2011
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Uh…. in all my questions with trust, I am speaking of trusting someone you are in an online relationship with – however casual.
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut "relationship" has very wide spectrum of interpretation by various individuals. if you define yours, you might get crisp replies.
vishayvastu
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut trust is a virtual thing and if you are looking for it on virtual world, make sure its real by testing it on a real world.
vishayvastu
September 22, 2011
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Also, by relationship, for these questions, it is a series of interactions – not necessarily romance, family, friends, business…
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
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For those who said gender matters, can you describe how it matters? What about the gender makes you go “yes” or “no”?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut yes gender matters:opposite sex attract
harpal28
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut It doesnt matter to me.. but the other person would be surely skeptical of continuing casually or even sharing their details.
sharadbjain
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Had a ‘phone’ friend wanted to donate blood but no wheels, I offered a pick up and she accepted. I was stunned, Sooo risky!
samlcarr
September 22, 2011
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Would you meet someone you only know as a handle without knowing their name? Or on knowing their name at last minute?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Khulasa : Main kissi se kahin bhi kaisey bhi kabhi bhi milne ko tayyar hoon. πŸ˜€
SleightOrScam
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut No I won’t meet unless I verify his/her credentials.
mazher50
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut name or handle, man or woman, doesn’t matter. The person matters. And when and why the need to meet matters.
SharanyaMohanB
September 22, 2011
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What kind of a thing might make you lose trust in someone you met online, but which may be ok for real life interactions?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
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Are there some things you trust people with more easily than others? For a really d’uh example, a good morning wish v/s credit card details.
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Honest people won’t ask for credit card details.
mazher50
September 22, 2011
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Have you experienced people trusting you freely online? Can you describe briefly?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut People get scammed all the time, they even date, so trust online happens and prhps is easier than F2F?
samlcarr
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Yes… description is … no description
jha_sachin
September 22, 2011
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Has someone surprised you by trusting you in a way you wouldn’t? How did that impact you?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut People seem to trust me very quickly with very personal information. It’s happened many times, more and more over the years.
BarnabyHaszardM
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut It always surprises me, because I’m so accustomed to people being as guarded as possible.
BarnabyHaszardM
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut yes and we are now good friends.
atulkanji
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Yes, I gained more confidence in that person. may be bit of self confidence enhancement as well.
jha_sachin
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Never encountered
mazher50
September 22, 2011
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Do you tend to trust websites or people more? What quality is the deciding factor?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Which websites… ? We are more susceptible to breach of trust.. takes amount time for me to trust any person.
jha_sachin
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut People more who speaks truth, soft & honest most importantly value human being rather than religion.
mazher50
September 22, 2011
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Does it make a difference if the trust is a group process – say a tweet-up rather than a phone number? Does it matter?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut tweet-up will be ok
mazher50
September 22, 2011
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Okay, last and most important question coming up. Be sure to really think and answer with your highest truth… contd
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
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What is the one quality above all others about an online person that invites you to trust them?
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Frequency of tweets.
SleightOrScam
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut 1. they are open about themselves.2.they trust you3.in male/female relation, no upsetting msg.
atulkanji
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut perhaps sharing a mutual passion?
samlcarr
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut nothing….
jha_sachin
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut a solid base in thinking process, no hippocrates
harpal28
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut that one quality is knowing that person well offline
JOKEPAL
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Honesty
mazher50
September 22, 2011
Their being normal acting normal and not put on . RT @Vidyut: What is the one quality above all others about (cont) http://t.co/zJwBZqUt
subbureddy
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut re one quality to generate trust – a benign sense of humour, i.e. able to see the funny side of things without being malicious.
BarnabyHaszardM
September 22, 2011
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Thank you very much for answering my questions so freely and generously. I will be putting up your replies as the raw data soon.
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut seriously? No you not gonna do tht. sachii? πŸ˜›
SleightOrScam
September 22, 2011
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And I am still listening, so keep your thoughts coming in whenever you want. Just thanked, so that I don’t move to other things and forget
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
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Thank you to all who were not interested in the trust discussion, but still accepted it without complaint as a part of having me around πŸ™‚
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut Are you planning a research (PhD) on internet users. Not a bad idea.
mazher50
September 22, 2011
@mazher50 hehehe… not really. I’d have to graduate and post graduate before that. Researching anyway πŸ˜‰
Vidyut
September 22, 2011
@Vidyut was deep into my work…and still so. Sorry abt the no response.
rammy_srk
September 22, 2011
Please note that this is a freewheeling discussion and not a survey. A sensing of the diversity of perspectives is here, but it is not intended to be statistically accurate, or stringent in covering every possible aspect.

The original answers I received in discussion are saved here for my reference, as well as anyone else who may want to read and do something along these lines.
These are not all the replies I received, since this is a very long post already. There were many replies that were very similar – along the lines of “I’d trust you” or “I wouldn’t hesitate to give you my number” etc – which make sense only in the context of the writer’s relationship to me – I interact fairly freely with readers. But that context is not apparent in the tweet text itself. So these should basically be considered in a context of a relationship with fairly easy conversations and some mutual respect present.

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About the Author

Vidyut
Vidyut is a blogger on issues of National interest. Staunch advocate of rights, learning and freedoms. @Vidyut

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