<link rel="stylesheet" href="//fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Open+Sans%3A400italic%2C700italic%2C400%2C700">Shashi Tharoor Archives « Aam JanataSkip to content


Harshit Agarwal, student of JNU for 2.5 years and eyewitness to the events that unfolded after the protest by DSU on the Jawaharlal Nehru University campus.

Harshit Agarwal, student of JNU and eyewitness to the events that unfolded after the protest by DSU on the Jawaharlal Nehru University campus. Originally posted on Quora.

A lot of answers are here. The only weird thing is not one of them is from a JNU student or who witnessed what happened on that controversial day and yet everyone has such strong opinions about the whole incident from people calling everyone studying in JNU as terrorists, jihadis and naxals to asking for the university to be completely shutdown!

I am a JNU student studying right now and also happen to be a witness from distance for some events that happened on that controversial date - 9th February 2016. So, that kinda renders me more legitimate to answer this question than people who only know about it through Zee News and Times Now.

On 9th February 2016, ex-members of a student organization DSU, short for 'Democratic Students Union' had called for a cultural meeting of a protest against what they called 'the judicial killing of Afzal Guru and Maqbool Bhat' and in solidarity with 'the struggle of Kashmiri people for their democratic right to self-determination.' A lot of Kashmiri students from inside and outside the campus were to attend the event.

'Democratic Students Union(DSU)' is an ultra-leftist group in the campus that believes in the ideology of Maoism. It's a very small group of very well read students. They are not terrorists or naxals by any means. I have been in the campus for more than 2 years and never have I witnessed or heard of them committing a terror activity as much as of throwing a stone, let alone overthrowing the state!

Now, first things first.

Did they do something wrong in organizing a meeting over the issue of Kashmir? Is the issue of Kashmir so sacred to us and our brains so brainwashed with the idea of nazi-like nationalism that we are not even ready to hear about the issue of Kashmir from Kashmiris themselves?

Do I support the secession of Kashmir from India? No.

I am not even aware of the exact nuances of the political matter, but I am ready to hear, learn and debate all sorts of opinions, especially from the inhabitants themselves.

Now, did the organizers of the meeting do something wrong in calling Afzal Guru and Maqbool Bhat's execution 'judicial murder'? And was it the first time somebody raised an objection on capital punishment and the judgement of a court?

After Afzal Guru was hanged, a lot of human rights group condemned the hanging. The political party PDP with whom BJP has formed a government in Jammu and Kashmir itself called Afzal's hanging 'travesty of justice'. Arundhati Roy condemned it. Shashi Tharoor called it wrong. Markandey Katju has severely criticized it.

Praveen Swami, Indian journalist, analyst and author specialising on international strategic and security issues wrote in The Hindu,

"The Supreme Court’s word is not, and ought not to be, the final word. Indeed, the deep ambiguities that surround Guru’s case are in themselves compelling argument to rethink the death penalty."

Former Delhi High Court chief justice, Justice AP Shah, said that the hanging of Afzal Guru and Yakub Memon were politically motivated.

Now were all these people anti-nationals, terrorists, jihadis?

I have faith in your wisdom to answer that.

Now coming to next issue - the shouting of 'anti-national slogans'.

Now 20 minutes before the meeting was going to start, ABVP, who consider themselves to be the sole harbingers of nationalism, wrote to the administration asking it to withdraw the permission of organizing the meeting as it was 'harmful for campus' atmosphere'. The administration, feeling afraid of clashes, denied the permission. Now, for those who do not know, JNU is a beautiful democratic space where all voices are heard, all opinions however radical, respected. And ABVP was scuttling that space.

DSU asked for help from JNUSU (Jawaharlal Nehru Students' Union) and other left student organizations like SFI(Students Federation of India), and AISA(All India Students Association) to gather in support of their right to democratically and peacefully hold meeting and mind you, NOT in support of their ideology or their stand on Kashmir. DSU, JNUSU, and other student organizations decided they would not let the administration and the ABVP scuttle their hard-earned democratic space to debate and discuss, and decided to go ahead with the meeting.

The administration sent security guards to cover the badminton court where the meeting was supposed to happen, and denied the permission to use mics. The organizers agreed.

They decided they would continue the meeting around the dhaba itself and without the mics. However, the ABVP mobilized its cadres and started threatening and intimidating the students and organizers. They started shouting cliched slogans like

'Ye Kashmir Hamara hai, saara ka saara hai.'

The organizers as a response to them, and to create solidarity among the students attending the meeting started shouting,

"Hum kya chaahte? Azaadi!"

Do you think there was something highly inflammatory  and dangerous in this statement? Think about it. Nations break all the time. We were chanting the same slogan under Britishers. Soviet Union disintegrated. Secession is neither good nor bad. It depends on the precise circumstances of the region. And mind you, I don't support the secession of Kashmir. I claim to have insufficient knowledge of the situation and conditions of the people residing in that region. Hence, I am neither for nor against it. Hence, I have no problems with a group of students simply shouting slogans in support of a particular region's freedom. They were not planning a conspiracy to overthrow the government and seize Kashmir from India. They were simple students who read, travel and learn about socio-political issues and have a stand about it.

Next slogan -

"Tum kitne Afzal maaroge, har ghar se Afzal niklega!"

Now, I did not study the case closely, and hence, would believe in the courts of India and therefore, I believe Afzal Guru was a terrorist. Though principally I am against capital punishment.

However, this group of students believed that he did not deserve capital punishment and also have their skepticism about his involvement in the parliamentary attack. I am picking up this from wikipedia -

"It has to be noted, that in its judgement of 5 August 2005, the supreme court admitted that the evidence against Guru was only circumstantial, and that there was no evidence that he belonged to any terrorist group or organisation."

And this directly from the Supreme Court judgement:

"The incident, which resulted in heavy casualties, had shaken the entire nation and the collective conscience of the society will only be satisfied if the capital punishment is awarded to the offender."

So, a group of students believe that Afzal Guru was framed, had no role in the attack on the parliament and his capital punishment was wrong. Big deal?

And were therefore shouting, "Har ghar se Afzal niklega!"

And mind you, these people are not carrying any arms, all they are carrying are ideas.

So, in such a case, what should the state do? Charge them for conspiracy against the state? Or maybe merely try to engage with them, debate with them about a difference of opinion?

And was this some secretly organized meeting about overthrowing the government smuggling in bombs and grenades? No, this was a public meeting. Everyone was invited. You were free to disagree with them. They are not doing it in hiding. If they were terrorists they would not come out in public! But didn't you see them all at your TV channels courageously defending themselves and their right to have a difference of opinion? Tell me, which traits of terrorists do you find in them?

Now, I'll come to the most controversial part - the slogans against India.

In the meeting, there was a whole group of Kashmiri students which had come from outside JNU to attend the meeting. If you would even look closely at the video that is being circulated, you will only see these students who had formed a circle in the center of the gathering. And trust me ,not one of whom was from JNU! I was present during the event for some time, and I could not recognize a single face from that group as being from JNU.

This group of students, who belonged to Kashmir, and had faced the wrath of the AFSPA for decades, were angered to see ABVP disrupt their meeting, and started shouting the slogans against India, like:

"Bharat ki barbaadi tak, jung rahegi, jung rahegi!"
"India, Go Back"

In my almost 2.5 years of stay in JNU, I have never heard these slogans shouted anywhere. These are nowhere even close to the ideology of any left parties, let alone DSU.

To make things clearer, here is what a Kashmiri student who is not a JNU student and who was not present in the meeting, has written about the slogans on his facebook wall, after hearing them on youtube:

"Let me do the “DECONSTRUCTION” not Derridian but ‘Kashmiri deconstruction’ of the slogans that have become so controversial.


Bharat for a Kashmiri young men and women who were born in 1990s and after means Indian Military Establishment. The representative image of Indian state is always, Men-in-uniform-with-weapons.

BARBADI is used in the same lexicon as it’s used by different organizations in India. It means end to the military occupation of Kashmir.

JANG means struggle, whether peaceful, Gandhian, Marxian, Gramscian or violent depends on your interpretation of the word.

I hope it leads to some clarity. Anyways it might be a ‘fringe’ slogan in spaces like JNU but it’s a ‘mass’ slogan in Kashmir.

2. AZADI: The word AZADI, which is the most confusing word for ‘Indians’. Let me simplify it for you. It’s not a seditious slogan nor is it secessionist. AZADI as a slogan is historically, socially, culturally, conceptually and principally rooted in the principle of Right to Self Determination of people belonging to a region occupied by two nation-states identified as Kashmir.

Let me add more, Azadi is a synonym of Resistance and has a very deep aspirational value attached to it."

About the slogans of 'Pakistan Zindabad', it is disputed. I did not hear any such slogan while I was present there. There is a slogan in a video, but it's not clear as to who shouted it - the Kashmiri students or the ABVP as a conspiracy, as this video below explains:

Now, that it's been clear that no JNU student was involved in shouting anti-India slogans, let's come to the way the government responded to this:

The police on the orders of Home Minister Rajnath Singh raid our univeristy and then hostels. They pick up the JNUSU President from within the campus with no substantial evidence and the court remands him for a 3 day police custody. He did not shout the slogans. He is a member of the All India Students Federation(AISF) which is the student wing of the Communist Party of India(CPI) which has no Maoist or secessionist ideology and is the mildest of all left parties.

Yesterday too, seven more students were picked up by the police from the campus.

I say, if you are hell bent on arresting, arrest those Kashmiri students at the most. But ruthlessly witch-hunting students is outrageous and clearly not what you would expect from a democratic government!

And finally, I am going to touch a raw nerve here, but I think it's become important that someone does -

"Why are we so volatile regarding our ideas of nationalism? Why do we treat it like religion? Somebody shouts few slogans and it becomes absolute blasphemy! A university is a place for debate, discussion and dissent! Slogans should be answered by slogans, and not by sedition charges!"

Elaborating on this, I would like to quote the first prime minister of India 'Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, whose name the university bears:

A University stands for humanism. For tolerance, for reason, for the adventure of ideas and for the search of truth. It stands for the onward march of the human race towards ever higher objectives. If the Universities discharge their duties adequately, then it is well with the Nation and the People."

At such a crucial time, when JNU is facing all kinds of fabricated lies and flak from media, I would urge all of you to stand with JNU. It is one of a kind of university and it's absolutely beautiful, both in it's spirit and geography.

I urge you all to visit my university sometime. It welcomes everyone, accommodates everyone...:)


A surprising villain has come up in the Sunanda Pushkar saga. Apparently it is Twitter that killed her. "Murder by Twitter" "Live by Twitter, don't die by it" it seems. That would make sense if the accusation was that Mehr Tarar used Twitter to add insult to injury, but apparently it was Sunanda Tharoor's use of Twitter that was villain in her own murder.

In other words, a variation of the age old "she brought it on herself" by journalists who would normally object to the use of this reasoning while objecting to it is in vogue. But is it Twitter that failed Sunanda? These are some of the things Sunanda Tharoor seems to have said in the days before her death.

Messages of the sort allegedly sent by Mehr Tarar to Shashi Tharoor:

@mehrtarar I love you, Shashi Tharoor. And I go while in love with you, irrevocably, irreversibly, hamesha. Bleeding, but always your Mehr,

Shashi. I'm not crying any more. I'm not falling to pieces. I'm more lucid than ever. How little I knew you became visible to me.@mehrtarar

You unfollowed me. You don't RT me and you don't answer me on twitter. I can live with your favourites. I have your personal validation have your personal validation of my words, I don't need any public one. For that I will wait until we are together publically really mehr

These are not exactly messages of an interviewer or even a friend. Sunanda Pushkar seemed convinced that Mehr Tarar was chasing Shashi Tharoor while she was suffering ill health and Shashi Tharoor was tempted (if not already having a "rip roaring affair"). The interview with Indian Express is explosive. A quote:

“I completely stand by my tweets, I 100 per cent stand by that,” Sunanda Tharoor later told The Indian Express. “That woman pursued and pursued him…men are stupid anyways…for all you know she is a Pakistani agent. Where’s love, where’s loyalty in this world…I am so distraught.” Sunanda Tharoor said she felt “destroyed as a wife and a woman” over her husband’s “rip-roaring affair” with the Pakistani journalist which she claimed had been going on since April last year. Sunanda Tharoor also claimed there have been a series of Blackberry Messenger exchanges between her husband and the Pakistani journalist in which, among other things, the possibilities of his divorce with her have also been discussed.

It may be possible that there was no affair between Mehr Tarar and Shashi Tharoor. Mehr Tarar claims that she met Shashi Tharoor twice, once in April for the interview and once in June in Dubai and they stayed in touch. It is also true that many people use affectionate language more easily than others, but "I go while in love with you, irrevocably, irreversibly, hamesha. Bleeding, but always your Mehr" is stretching that one.

Mehr Tarar claimed that Sunanda Tharoor had put her life in danger and threatened a defamation suit. Media reports she denied having an affair with Shashi Tharoor, though there are no direct quotes. On the other hand, she has not denied that the messages posted as sent by her are false. Media apparently did not think it interesting to ask her if she denies sending these messages. Nor did the endangered Mehr Tarar see the need to end the danger by claiming that she had sent no such messages to an Indian minister.

There is no question of why someone would send messages like that to a public figure and risk her life if they were to be found, and further goad an already suspicious wife and increase the risk that they could be made public.

Media, has gone in damage control mode with an "intimate" email from Mehr Tarar to Shashi Tharoor in June "leaked" (we saw a lot of very convenient leaky emails in the Tarun Tejpal rape episode too) where she is "understanding" about the difficulties he faces with his wife and talks about how suspicion will see wrong in relationships between man and woman.


Mehr Tarar's sly tweet about Sunanda Tharoor seems far from the limited relationship with Shashi Tharoor that she claims
Mehr Tarar's sly tweet about Sunanda Tharoor and discussion with prominent Congress handle about what is obviously a sneer at a Congress politician's wife seems far from the limited relationship with Shashi Tharoor that she claims

This does not explain the BBM messages, nor is this understanding in evidence in her interactions with her "friend's wife" who "misunderstands" her relationship with him - given the content of the messages, there seems little room to misunderstand. This sly tweet doesn't seem to be speaking like someone who understands that the subject is "loved" by her "friend" who is "happy" with her.

Nor does this response to Sunanda Tharoor's tweets sound like she has the least interested in her supposed friend's marriage not suffering from a misunderstanding over her, regardless of her halo in media.

The blonde's aqal is weaker thn her grammar & spellings.From an 'affair' it has become 'stalking'..make up yr mind, darlin'.Which one is it?

Neither sound like a professional journalist covering politics speaking of a interview subject and foreign politician's wife. They are bitchy and they are personal. Media does not seem to have seen fit to question this either, though there is an abundance of damage control quotes.

Again, Mehr Tarar may merely be a groupie with serious immaturity issues, but that is most certainly not Sunanda Tharoor's hallucination and no one bothered to ask Mehr Tarar any uncomfortable questions. It is almost as if media expected she would give a sound byte saying "Yes, I am in love with Shashi Tharoor" or "Yes, I am an ISI agent" if it were true. And it is a private matter otherwise. I mean why get in the way of Aman ki Asha?

There seem to be several journalists who think it is social media that did Sunanda Tharoor in, even though the problem broke on Twitter, but happened in private messages and emails. No clear logic is provided and to me, the only explanation seems to be that the problem was the scandal, and not what Sunanda Tharoor went through. Media at its khap panchayat best. That halo is sure easy to adjust depending on who the subject of the "hot news" is.

I don't doubt that social media can do people in. God knows there are enough episodes of internet bullying that lead to suicides. But is that correct in this case, or is it media's guilt over being on the wrong side of Sunanda Tharoor, till Sunanda Pushkar committed suicide and all of a sudden they know her by the maiden name she used before marrying Tharoor and are raiding Mehr Tarar's Facebook photos (I presume - she gave permission at added grave risk to herself) to publish "who is this woman" type articles?

Sunanda Tharoor was viewed as a tamasha when she was making revelations that devastated her. She was sent off to page 3 and her accusations reduced to a "catfight" as Twitter calls it. Headlines spoke about how Sunanda Pushkar created a problem or embarrassment rather than made grave allegations about Member of Parliament.

Shashi Tharoor, Sunanda Pushkar row: I have been put in jeopardy, says Mehr Tarar


Shashi Tharoor caught in tweet war between Sunanda Pushkar, Pak woman journalist Mehr Tarar

for example. Who except Sunanda Pushkar has had to defend their actions?


Apparently, media did not think it relevant to India if an Indian Parliamentarian was sending and receiving intimate messages from a foreigner to the point of discussing divorcing his wife. Not to mention Sunanda Tharoor's accusations of Mehr Tarar being an ISI agent - whether true or false. Shashi Tharoor was not asked for confirmation or denial of those messages, nor was Mehr Tarar.

Mehr Tarar and Shashi Tharoor may have refused to speak to media on some subjects, but Sunanda Pushkar most certainly was speaking. Her allegations about the IPL dropped like a rock in pond. Media simply didn't hear them, it seems. No further questioning. Best cover that up.


So media's message was clear. This is nothing, just some entertainment getting TRPs because it targets a celebrity politician.

In contrast, media has gone to great lengths to shield Shashi Tharoor. His supposed statement on his Facebook account, claiming to be from both Sunanda and him has gone unquestioned as his last word on the subject - both before and after his wife's death.

There are no questions raised about the body being cremated before the nature of her injuries was disclosed.

And of course, Rahul Bhatia's blunt observation 

Shortly after the Economic Times piece, the news channel NDTV got Pushkar on the phone for an interview. They didn’t ask her about the “crimes of this man.” At one point during the live phone conversation, when Pushkar said she regretted choosing silence during the cricket controversy, the interviewer changed the subject, “Ma’am, you do realize you’re live on NDTV? Also, aren’t you worried the BJP [the party in opposition] will take up this issue?” The channel’s concern for the minister’s career, not the details of Pushkar’s revelation, was dismaying.

So you have this woman speaking of betrayal and heart break and making accusations which most certainly have national implications, and she is the only one to get asked tough questions. Which obviously means a media silencing or disbelief - if media believed that the accusation was serious, they would give more of a damn about the implications of it being true, right? Her cry of distress was effectively rendered toothless by a spineless media, leaving her to the fallout and her husband to impunity. What other escalation remained to her after such a humiliation?

So which media "outlet" has a quote or denial on record whether the messages Sunanda Tharoor leaked were true or malicious inventions by her?

Even after she died in their aftermath? So you tell me, did TWITTER kill Sunanda Tharoor?


Shashi Tharoor returned from the AICC meet to his hotel suite he shared with his wife Sunanda Tharoor at around 8:30pm and found her dead. Her body seemed undisturbed and was lying in bed, according to Shashi Tharoor's PS, Abhinav Kumar, who called the police.

Separately, DNA reported that Sunanda Pushkar (her surname before marrying Shashi Tharoor) may have committed suicide by hanging herself.

The contradictory reports seem to be in line with an ongoing conflict between Shashi Tharoor and Sunanda Pushkar/Tharoor, where both seemed to be claiming things directly contradicting each other, without confronting each other either.

Their marriage was said to be in trouble, and Sunanda Tharoor had made several disturbing tweets from Shashi Tharoor's Twitter account that seemed to be BBM messages between a Pakistani journalist and Shashi Tharoor. Their response to this whole episode was also very strange. While Shashi Tharoor's Facebook account was putting out messages that the account had been hacked and that he and his wife were happy, Sunanda Tharoor seemed to be taking responsibility for the tweets and angry over the alleged relationship.

shashi sunanda tharoor joint statement
Shashi Tharoor and Sunanda Tharoor's joint statement about Mehr Tarar controversy

The Pakistani journalist in question, Meher Tarar, in the meanwhile denied any relationship with Shashi Tharoor and made several taunts regarding Sunanda Tharoor's allegations, implying that they were outrageous. Here are the key tweets as reported in India Today:

tweets by late sunanda tharoor, shashi tharoor and meher tarar
Key tweets from the controversy involving Sunanda Tharoor, Shashi Tharoor and Meher Tarar

Sunanda Tharoor seems to have gone back and forth regarding Shashi Tharoor's involvement. At times speaking of his treatment of her in spite of her taking on his guilt, or speaking of him being a "man" and thus interested or prey to a predatory Meher Tarar. At other times she speaks of being happy with Shashi Tharoor.

She has made allegations of stalking against Meher Tarar. At other times she has accused her of being an ISI agent hacking into Shashi Tharoor's computer and making many calls.

Meher Tarar on her part seems outraged by the accusations and now saddened by news of her death.

At the same time there seems to be a history between the two women. For example, this tweet made well before Sunanda Tharoor's accusations.

Mehr Tarar's sly tweet about Sunanda Tharoor seems far from the limited relationship with Shashi Tharoor that she claims
Mehr Tarar's sly tweet about Sunanda Tharoor seems far from the limited relationship with Shashi Tharoor that she claims

But the oddness had always seemed a bit apparent to me. Right from the beginning, when Sunanda Tharoor got groped in a mob by a Congress worker and did not file a complaint. That seemed really odd and disempowered for the wife of a senior leader mistreated within the organization.

In recent days, her Twitter conversations at least were more with right wing and AAP related handles than Congress ones, which is what one would expect, considering that she was the wife of a senior leader and Member of Parliament. She also seems to be very candid with all. The laguage of the type of suspecting ISI agents or "we Hindus" and such is also very outside what one sees with the Congress. There is no sense of .... inclusion (?) with his world.

For example, in Mehr Tarar' tweet, which seems to be talking of Sunanda Tharoor, the person she offers to DM the name to is a popular Congress handle. So you have a Pakistani handle gossiping with a Congress worker about the wife of a senior Congress politician. Hardly an uninvolved and professional relationship that she appears to be claiming. For that matter, Mehr Tarar on the whole seems to connect far more with Congress handles than her. This may not be deliberate, but it could add to someone already feeling excluded?

Her body has gone for a post mortem, and we will probably know more soon, but combined with the many mentions of her health problems and needing rest and so on, along with the overall lack of caution in her public tweets, reminds me oddly of my mother when her schizophrenia was at its worst, with the ever changing suspicions against specific people and the suffering she went through because of them. This is not to say this is the case with Sunanda Tharoor, just that her vulnerability and helplessness to deal with a perceived dire threat beyond raging at it and getting little result touched a chord in me with what I saw my mother go through.

There is a vague guilt in me that I commented on her tweets, but did not reach out to her, in spite of recognizing that she needed help before she died.

And a part of me wonders if I ignored her because she was a public figure, assuming that she had resources. Obviously, I could not do much, but hasn't experience taught me that what we most need is a compassionate ear? Strange how I have no hesitation reaching out to so many women, but I didn't, in her case, even when I had seen the need. Or perhaps it is survivor's guilt. "What if"

Of course, it is possible that Shashi Tharoor was really having an affair. Mixed and contradictory reports indicate that she was very angry and seeking a divorce, others say that she did not seem depressed and denied that Shashi Tharoor was having an affair, though she accused Mehr consistently, if about varied things. Then there are the tweets where she said that Shashi Tharoor and she were happy together.

Clearly investigations will happen about her accusations, as well as the cause of her death and we will know more soon.

Of course, the alternative theory is believing her ISI related accusations about Mehr Tarar, as Madhu Kishwar has gone ahead and done by declaring Sunanda Tharoor "eliminated" already. Several others on this track believe she was eliminated because of the accusations, which is rather strange considering that they would now be rigorously examined instead of merely being gossip fodder. Another person found it strange that she didn't tweet if she was taking such a drastic step. So you get the idea. There are all kinds of opinions and little information out there.

Men's Rights Activists have started demanding a dowry case against Shashi Tharoor because they were married less than 7 years, quite forgetting that it isn't a criminal case that is mandatory, but a post mortem. Delhi police have asked a magistrate to conduct an inquiry into her death, since they were married for less than seven years.

Every vulture is going to pick at this one for their own ends. I feel sorry for Shashi Tharoor already.

Or the truth may be something else altogether.

Obviously, this story is going to explode in the days to come.


In the last two days, two incidents of women being violated went viral in social media. In one case, Sunanda Pushkar, wife of Shashi Tharoor slapped a young Congress worker who 'misbehaved' with her (read groped). She slapped him publicly, which is admirable reflexes in a crowd. Later, the youth was found, and he apologized and the previously outraged Tharoors did not file a case against him.

In other news, a few days before that, a boyfriend brutally beat up his girl friend who made a stunned blog post that in turn stunned thousands who read it. Roommate and neighbours saw the man attacking her and choking her. She has photographs of injuries and when I spoke with her, she said her ear is still not recovered. I assured her of any assistance that would help her including company while meeting police so that she does not have to face potentially misogynist attitudes alone.

However she seems to be decided against filing a police complaint. She thinks the bad publicity the boy got is enough. She has asked him to give her a written apology for the incident covering all the details, rejecting an earlier apology that glossed over the facts and attempted to show her as partially responsible for the incident.

What strikes me in both these incidents is that neither woman can be considered particularly helpless. Neither woman can most certainly be considered devoid of support if she needs it. Yet, apologies served to prevent police complaints that would lead to punishment.

Well, here is a no-brainer. What does a man do when caught squarely abusing a woman? Apologize of course!!! Anything else risks massive backlash!

Here is a second no-brainer. What does the guy who got publicly slapped for groping tell his friends within a month? "Are yaar, I didn't do any such thing, I must have touched her by mistake, or someone else must have, but she started hitting me. What do you say to a woman at a time like this, so I said sorry!"

Here is a third no-brainer. What does the guy who wrote a full confession of guilt in assault say about it later? "You know our laws and how biased they are against men. She threatened to drag me to court and ruin my life. I had to write the letter to save my future! Here is my original letter. Read for yourself, it was a mutual fight, only I didn't go crying to the public over the bruises she gave me!"

Here's the last no-brainer. Will a guy call himself guilty of something publicly viewed as shameful voluntarily beyond the absolutely necessary period?

End result? A little inconvenience because caught. Be careful next time, grope or beat if the girl asks for it. It isn't as big a deal as they make it, or they'd have gone to the police themselves! Wouldn't you file a case if someone beat you black and blue?

The real question here is what makes women value themselves as so less that a highly predictable apology if caught, when caught results in the guy escaping legal action? Seriously, is that all the value women see in themselves? That if they are harmed, it shouldn't be without apology?

One may argue that the men learned their lessons. In my experience, these are lessons in going scot free by using the right words, not in respecting women. Act as you wish, if confronted, apologize, act sincere and nothing will happen.

Would someone who stole your car be forgiven if he apologized for doing it? No! He would be caught by police and punished as per law. Appeals for forgiveness would meet harsh replies like "It isn't like you didn't know you aren't supposed to steal, now bear the consequences". Do women really consider their worth as less than that?