<link rel="stylesheet" href="//fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Open+Sans%3A400italic%2C700italic%2C400%2C700">Feminism and sexuality Archives « Aam JanataSkip to content

Woman from Ulhasnagar beaten till unconscious to intimidate daughter into withdrawing sexual harassment complaint. Assaulter free, frames family instead.

What happens when you face sexual harassment and you go and register a case with the police as a conscientious citizen who believes that the country's law enforcing system will provide her relief? Here is what happens: your mother is severely beaten up, your brother is implicated in a false case and is arrested and you and your family are threatened with dire consequences if you do not withdraw your case. Crime rules in Ulhasnagar, not far from Mumbai, the financial capital of the country.

[name redacted to protect identity] lives in Ulhasnagar with her two brothers and her mother. When she could no more put up with the sexual harassment by a neighbour; she decided to act. She also decided to follow the law as a good citizen and went and registered a case. Little did she know of the ordeal awaiting her and her family.

No action was taken against the accused; but she started getting pestered to withdraw her case. The pressure mounted when she refused. On 26th April 2014, when she and her brothers were away, the Chairman of the Society where she lives, and his daughter along with four other men, beat her mother severely with bamboo sticks at 7 PM right in the premises of the Society, till she became unconscious. On gaining consciousness, she called her children and advised the son who was nearest, to seek help from police.

That's again being a responsible citizen, right? Unfortunately law operates differently for the likes of her, for the Aam Adami and for those with political clout: she received no help. So, she herself went to the police station to lodge a complaint. She found that the Chairman, Shri Anil Kumar Pandey was already there and she refused to give a statement under duress. Ultimately, [name redacted] and the other brother reached the police station and the formality of filing an FIR was completed by 10 in the night. To add insult to injury, she was to see a counter complaint filed against her and her family.

What happens next? The police detain the brother and implicating him under serious charges, arrest him! The family is threatened with dire consequences if the original complaint is not withdrawn. And those who are terrorizing the hapless family are of course moving about freely.

Is it because Shri Anil Kumar Pandey is a local neta of the NCP? Does the law operate differently when a neta of the party in the ruling alliance is involved? Is this not a loud and clear signal for the public, the Aam Adami, to beware of trying to oppose the high and mighty political masters?

But the girl has decided to fight it out. As a last resort, she has appealed to AAP to try and get her justice. AAP is leading a crusade against corruption at all levels. as a part of the crusade, it is our duty to highlight such incidents. We demand that a proper investigation be conducted in the entire matter and justice be delivered. And we also wish to make an appeal to the Home Minister Shri R R Patil to carry out his moral responsibility of providing a woman with security.

press release from Aam Aadmi Party Maharashtra media cell.

Shaming the closet rapists.

[mapsmarker layer="2"]

Do add your suggestions in the comment, and I can add them to the map.

10

It is not new that sexual harassment of women is at an all time high. It is also not new that people in power are simply not interested in doing anything about this. Considering that they are busy blaming women for the crimes happening against them, and considering that leaders are sharing porn clips among themselves - porn clips of women raped and beheaded - I don't think anyone is particularly interested in what happens to the women.

This leads me to believe that the objective IS to enjoy women, abandon their safety by telling them to manage it themselves. When you look at things like this, we are making definite progress. However, we still aren't perfect, but a shining milestone was achieved a couple of days back, when finally, a bunch of people wandering onto a rape scene joined in on the rape. This is good, because the efficiency ratio was really high. Imagine 16 men satisfied by only 2 women. This is excellent. We have less and less women in the country, and this is the future anyway, I suppose.

It is all in how you look at it. What is the need at all to bother with what a few women think?

Welcome the future!

We are closer to six sigma. Consider this situation:

A girl got called by her boyfriend to a remote location. She went with her cousin. What is it Sheila Dixit had said? Not to go alone? That was good advice. 16 men with one girl would have gotten crowded. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Turns out  that the boyfriend, Javed was a fantastic guy. Not only did he want to rape her, he was cool with the sharing thing. So, he and his friends all got to have come good harmless fun.

In other news, remember me saying that we need to become more accepting about sex in order to prevent crimes? Well... this is more efficient, no? Absolutely public sex. Anyone can walk in and join in. It doesn't get more open than this! Just like a porn video, someone said. Apparently there are porn videos where anyone can walk in and have sex. Will finish posting the article and get on Google. I need an education. BTW, absolutely thoughtful election campaign. A significant number of our population are indeed rapists.

And here is what makes us truly great as a nation. Passerby's joined in. Would have really sucked if the boys having harmless fun had to stop or something. Particularly if everyone hadn't got their turn. Most unfair. Passerby's were understanding and even supported the conservation of women effort by raping these two instead of going and finding more for themselves. Nice, those  can now be useful on another day.

So this picture is obviously faked, but imagine what we as a country could achieve!

This is the future of India. Such progressive people. Such modern, inclusive thinking. Vikram Bharti is the stepson of a local corporator and I think it is excellent that he made sure that the BJP is never seen as a party of mediocre, impotent old coots who can't get a hard on themselves and only end up watching. Virility is important. Also good that two advocates sons were among the rapists. That way, it will be easy to showcase everyone's achievements, and get the Supreme Court to lay off meddling in people's personal matters.

The only kicker here is that the media is biased against the Congress. One of the rapists was the grandson of a Congress corporator, but they are not giving them credit as due. It is all a conspiracy to make Congress look incapable of keeping the women in their place. Going to be really embarassing for Shiela Dixit after she finds that all her enabling and recommendations to girls worked, but they failed to bring name and fame to the Congress, because media just wouldn't name. Truly, this country is going to the dogs. Credit be where credit is due, I say.

As a side observation, I want to mention that those concerned about the Food Crisis in India can stop worrying. If we are to remember a certain hero's words, people rape because they eat food that makes them do such things. We have here irrefutable proof that our nutrition is almost exclusively aphrosodiacs. And if you think that's cheap, ask our leaders the cost for Viagra and learn. It would be easy to dismiss this as only the elite being able to get good food, but here's the kicker - passerby's went from zero to take off in no time at all. What are the chances that passerby's were only elites?

So, all of you, quit whining. India is doing just fine.

My suggestion. These guys should be nominees for next year's Padma awards for revolutionizing sex in India. Immediately, they should be gifted T-Shirts with this print by no less than the President of India.

The true sons of the soil must be provided this T-Shirt to facilitate their good work

And this should go on the back:

Some harmless fun

I have been asked to inform patriotic women that they should carry condoms, a few porn magazines, and other easily carried items that will make sex pleasurable to do their bit for the Nation's objectives.

Thank you.

If you don't understand this is satire, you have bigger problems than this article.

18

This story is about a few months old. Sat in my drafts, so some references may not be current.

I had met a few friends recently. I spoke briefly about sexual harassment and its prevalence and attitudes toward it as telling them what I am up to. Described Violence Against Women Awareness Month and my support for it.

The day after the gathering, the husband of one of the friends called me up and said he felt compelled to speak with me on the subject of "eve teasing". He agreed with me that eve teasing was sexual harassment and that it is a big evil in society (his words).

Then he proceeded to share with me his own story.

When he hit college, he often bunked classes to fool around with friends, watching films, smoking on the street, passing comments at girls. He didn't really intend it as an insult or aggression. In his eyes, it was playfulness. Friendliness even, though with a complete stranger. Slowly, he started getting more creative with it. He often brushed against women when he was walking or mingling. He even brushed against his cousin's bride during their wedding.

Not because he found them attractive or even because he wanted to feel a woman's body, but simply to see them jump in surprise/shock and react. He found their "Over Reaction" bizarre, and thought that such hyperactive women deserved to learn to get used to not making such big deals. It became such a habit, that he often brushed against women without even doing it on purpose - reflexively.

He insists that there was hardly anything sexual about it for him beyond the gender of his victim. It was more a game of skill. Of a teasing that they couldn't prevent. He knew it was wrong, but it didn't "feel" wrong. It felt as innocently mischievous as going "boo" and surprising someone.

A few things happened to change it.

Once, on the street, a girl was sharp enough and made a scene. It was embarrassing and he blustered his way through it, insisting that she had misunderstood and that she was over reacting to an innocent touch. But the incident got him wary.

Then, a girl once hit him when he touched her. It was fast and fleeting like his own touch. There was no scene made, but he caught the anger in her expression and the hate in the way she hit him. It was the first time he probably seriously considered that maybe, just maybe it REALLY wasn't funny for the girls and that it probably made them feel bad.

But he didn't see what he did as wrong. He blames part of this on the normal social upbringing, where growing up, a girl is told to be careful, but no one bothers to tell a guy to keep his distance and be respectful. He knew what he did was wrong, but he felt it as a thing of young blood, hormones and maybe just a little bit bad, like his room being a mess.

Later, he met a girl he liked (my friend) and they were to meet near a cafe where he usually was after she finished college. By some quirk of luck, she arrived when he wasn't there, and got teased by his own friends, though both didn't know that. Upset, she left, but later spoke with him while apologizing for standing him up. She told him about what happened and that she felt too upset and unsafe to wait while he wasn't there and that she was sorry if he waited for her, etc. (the guy is now 45 - this wasn't the era of mobile phones)

Reeling in shock, he realized that it was very likely that it was his own friends who had "teased" her. He didn't really know what to do. He wanted to say that they didn't mean any harm, but found that he didn't have the guts to let her know that they were his friends. He avoided going to that place with her. He felt ashamed to confront his friends, because that was what he himself did too. He felt ashamed to tell the girl because he really liked her, and didn't want to lose her. So he avoided the place. She, with the earlier experience was happy to avoid too.

They got more interested in each other and had a three year affair after which they married. He had started avoiding those friends completely and they too did not suspect anything thinking that his falling in love was the reason he had no time for them.

In the meanwhile, spending time with the girl, he was on the other side of the game. Escorting her, he saw how she was alert to people harassing her. Knowing the "kinds of things" men can do, and think, etc... he started pro actively watching out for her. He noticed other women have the same defensive attitudes too, and they no longer seemed funny when they startled helplessly at being harassed.

Their relationship got into trouble because of his over protectiveness. Knowing how men think, and knowing how it hurt her, he wanted to protect her, but ended up suffocating her with rules about everything. On the verge of a break off, they attended counselling, during which he told his wife about that incident. He was astonished that she barely remembered it. And why would she remember - it was just another day of tangling with creeps. He also told his friends, who were aghast.

For the first time since that day, he invited them home and let them meet her. He got acidity from how tense he was about that meeting. Two of them recognized her, but most didn't, but his story, and his insights, and his guilt and the impact on his marriage left a mark on them too, and they started being more sensitive. Most of them became vocal against sexual harassment, which was an embarrassing transition for the neighborhood bad boys.

They moved abroad, but he says men are the same everywhere.

After his daughter was born, was the time when he really knew fear because people like him were in the world. That day, in the hospital, he vowed that if he could speak with a man harassing a woman on the street, he would spend time and speak with them, in the hope that like his friends, they too would see in him someone who had lived their life and seen another side of it.

~*~*~*~*~*

Two days after the date of this draft, Keenan Santos was stabbed in Amboli.

I was going to write up this draft better because it is still quite abrupt, but too much time has passed, and chose to publish it as it is rather than change details I didn't remember clearly anymore.

I think this is one story that many more men should read.

4

Some points to learn from while organizing Mumbai's Maal Chaal. This post is more of a to-do list for me, not really an article. Feel free to read, follow or contribute or use the list to help you act. Stuff will keep getting added, removed.

  1. Remain open and available. Coordinate with main people so that all of us aren't inaccessible at the same time on declared points of contact.
  2. Prepare better. There was little preparation in terms of working with the society before the walk and in communicating the need. More reach needs to be organized.
  3. Specifically target and ensure communication with a range of "groups" of people ensuring diversity of age, gender, caste, class, locality, religion, etc. The attempt is to create such a diversity of people, that the message becomes totally generic - moral judgments and victimization are not okay regardless of who does it to whom.
  4. Make sure that the scope of the slutshaming being protested as not limited to streets and public transport - it is in every aspect of lives - in how we treat each other at home, at work, in school, on the street, in public transport...
  5. Engage with disagreeing voices in genuine debate. Understand concerns, make real attempts to address them as far as possible.
  6. Create effective communication on why words like "slut" and "maal" are needed and what is their significance in this protest against the ills in society - help people reach beyond automatic denials to common interest.
  7. Communicate better with journalists to ensure that the message of the slutwalk reaches viewers unmangled.
  8. Create a few standard letters, photos, graphics, etc that supporters can use to spread the word.
  9. Keep the voice loud and clear all through right up to the walk.
  10. Keep an eye on the kinds of clothes people have in mind, so that there is an idea of the diversity or the lack of it and action may be taken if needed.