On relationships

Two minds meet... interact. Its intense. Then, they find new things. The person who is last to move on is left with the awareness that he is one of the hundreds of followers of a bright precious star. Just as that star was one of his hundreds of followers, unrealized.

The only truth is that the moment has passed.

Relationships are an understanding, an arrangement of moments of connection stringed together.

And there are relationships that are circumstantial, largely based on roles.

I find that I value the ones I choose more than the ones that are not of my doing. I gravitate to people who inspire me, and chase those rainbows of connection...

At any given time, I have a few chat windows open, people having a quick comment, a share, as we go on with our respective lives. Most I don't answer at all. I read. Not inclined to talk right now. Others, I may drop everything to follow. And, these things are evolving, shifting, changing. Sometimes, I want only online relationships. Other times, I want the tangible presence of a friend and don't trust the anonymity of the net.

Two people commented separately that this wasn't moral/fair. And I replied:

The morality or lack of it is your business. Its not a scale that holds importance for me, in the sense you mean it.

I love thousands and thousands of people. Some of them are male, some female, some of a less easily defined gender. Some are not human, some are not even alive. I refuse to downsize this list of enriching confluences because someone sits with a list of acceptable loves, and a prescribed number.

I also refuse to relate with people based on quotas and timetables.

To recommend that I do so is impolite. To nag that I do is futile.

These were spontaneous friendships that emerged out of discussion on some subject we were passionate about and her wish was that I do not act with others as I did with her. His was that I "tell him everything".

Huh? Why should she be a special case at the cost of others I care about? If the world is not trustworthy, then why should I trust her?

Huh? I breathed a minute ago, then a couple of seconds after that, then a couple of seconds again, as I thought how stupid it is to notice "everything" let alone report it to some psycho. So, if you are interested, you follow. You stray for a while, you catch up. If you miss, it is not my job to change your diapers. I am certainly not going to tell you individually when I do something. I have a life, not an observation center.

It isn't love if your first thought is to cage, dictate, and change the person.

Join the Intellectual Anarchy!

8 thoughts on “On relationships

  1. Vir Rawlley

     Ah I love this insight shared. The ol' saying "If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours, it it doesn't, it never was".  Dear, dear me "who the hell are 'you" to set "it' free"; it's already free dude, you better free your-self honey 😉  Ha ! Ha !  delightful, delectable and all sussssh jazzx ! The string, a good umbilical analogy, nurturing, co-creating, snipping

    Reply
  2. Vir Rawlley

     Ah I love this insight shared. The ol' saying "If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours, it it doesn't, it never was".  Dear, dear me "who the hell are 'you" to set "it' free"; it's already free dude, you better free your-self honey 😉  Ha ! Ha !  delightful, delectable and all sussssh jazzx ! The string, a good umbilical analogy, nurturing, co-creating, snipping

    Reply
  3. Vir Rawlley

     Ah I love this insight shared. The ol' saying "If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours, it it doesn't, it never was".  Dear, dear me "who the hell are 'you" to set "it' free"; it's already free dude, you better free your-self honey 😉  Ha ! Ha !  delightful, delectable and all sussssh jazzx ! The string, a good umbilical analogy, nurturing, co-creating, snipping

    Reply
  4. Vir Rawlley

     Ah I love this insight shared. The ol' saying "If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours, it it doesn't, it never was".  Dear, dear me "who the hell are 'you" to set "it' free"; it's already free dude, you better free your-self honey 😉  Ha ! Ha !  delightful, delectable and all sussssh jazzx ! The string, a good umbilical analogy, nurturing, co-creating, snipping

    Reply
  5. Ketan

    Hahaha! I reckon this post was sort of reactionary, which is perfectly alright. I've many times thought why I seek exclusivity in love (yes, I do). The chain of thoughts is so complex that I'm not even able to recall it at this un-(Indian)-earthly hour! But to put it simply and most straightforwardly, being loved is an ego-massage. The more 'exclusive' something is that I am recipient of, the more valued it makes me feel and more enjoyable the ego massage is. 🙂 On other occasions, I like people because I feel people share the same value system as myself. Hence, I would expect them to make similar judgements about others as myself. But when I see them departing a lot in how I would judge a person (commonly, their liking someone I dislike) - there would a mental struggle - trying to re-align their value system with mine (by deluding the self, which cannot be sustained for long or trying to coerce them into rejecting the persons I reject) or starting to like them less for the mutual differences in the value system that emerge. If I am too emotionally dependent on the person and am quite committed and the person would be similarly committed, I'm more likely to do the former, but if I'm not as much dependent or no commitment towards each other so to speak of exists, I'll emotionally distance myself. Of course, things are not as much in black-and-white and my emotional response can be somewhere between these two extremes. 🙂

    Reply
  6. Ketan

    Hahaha! I reckon this post was sort of reactionary, which is perfectly alright. I've many times thought why I seek exclusivity in love (yes, I do). The chain of thoughts is so complex that I'm not even able to recall it at this un-(Indian)-earthly hour! But to put it simply and most straightforwardly, being loved is an ego-massage. The more 'exclusive' something is that I am recipient of, the more valued it makes me feel and more enjoyable the ego massage is. 🙂 On other occasions, I like people because I feel people share the same value system as myself. Hence, I would expect them to make similar judgements about others as myself. But when I see them departing a lot in how I would judge a person (commonly, their liking someone I dislike) - there would a mental struggle - trying to re-align their value system with mine (by deluding the self, which cannot be sustained for long or trying to coerce them into rejecting the persons I reject) or starting to like them less for the mutual differences in the value system that emerge. If I am too emotionally dependent on the person and am quite committed and the person would be similarly committed, I'm more likely to do the former, but if I'm not as much dependent or no commitment towards each other so to speak of exists, I'll emotionally distance myself. Of course, things are not as much in black-and-white and my emotional response can be somewhere between these two extremes. 🙂

    Reply
  7. Ketan

    Hahaha! I reckon this post was sort of reactionary, which is perfectly alright. I've many times thought why I seek exclusivity in love (yes, I do). The chain of thoughts is so complex that I'm not even able to recall it at this un-(Indian)-earthly hour! But to put it simply and most straightforwardly, being loved is an ego-massage. The more 'exclusive' something is that I am recipient of, the more valued it makes me feel and more enjoyable the ego massage is. 🙂 On other occasions, I like people because I feel people share the same value system as myself. Hence, I would expect them to make similar judgements about others as myself. But when I see them departing a lot in how I would judge a person (commonly, their liking someone I dislike) - there would a mental struggle - trying to re-align their value system with mine (by deluding the self, which cannot be sustained for long or trying to coerce them into rejecting the persons I reject) or starting to like them less for the mutual differences in the value system that emerge. If I am too emotionally dependent on the person and am quite committed and the person would be similarly committed, I'm more likely to do the former, but if I'm not as much dependent or no commitment towards each other so to speak of exists, I'll emotionally distance myself. Of course, things are not as much in black-and-white and my emotional response can be somewhere between these two extremes. 🙂

    Reply
  8. Ketan

    Hahaha! I reckon this post was sort of reactionary, which is perfectly alright. I've many times thought why I seek exclusivity in love (yes, I do). The chain of thoughts is so complex that I'm not even able to recall it at this un-(Indian)-earthly hour! But to put it simply and most straightforwardly, being loved is an ego-massage. The more 'exclusive' something is that I am recipient of, the more valued it makes me feel and more enjoyable the ego massage is. 🙂 On other occasions, I like people because I feel people share the same value system as myself. Hence, I would expect them to make similar judgements about others as myself. But when I see them departing a lot in how I would judge a person (commonly, their liking someone I dislike) - there would a mental struggle - trying to re-align their value system with mine (by deluding the self, which cannot be sustained for long or trying to coerce them into rejecting the persons I reject) or starting to like them less for the mutual differences in the value system that emerge. If I am too emotionally dependent on the person and am quite committed and the person would be similarly committed, I'm more likely to do the former, but if I'm not as much dependent or no commitment towards each other so to speak of exists, I'll emotionally distance myself. Of course, things are not as much in black-and-white and my emotional response can be somewhere between these two extremes. 🙂

    Reply

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