Mental and Emotional Violence – VAWAM

Violence Against Women Awareness Month: Day 4 – Mental and Emotional Violence #VAWAM #MEV
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Physical violence comes to mind easily, but less noticed is the far more prevalent type – mental and emotional violence #VAWAM #MEV
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Today we will speak about a more insidious form of violence against women, one not taken very seriously. Emotional & Mental Violence. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Wounds causeed by physical violence heal after a while. Emotional battering results in long term damage to a person’s entire psyshe #VAWAM
jehan_ara
October 3, 2011
Emotional abuse is as valid a form of domestic violence as is physical assault. It is used to control, humiliate & punish a spouse. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
However, not only is emotional violence widespread, it is so common that few see it as something being wrong #VAWAM #MEV
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Violence is a process of overpowering someone, and imposing something that causes harm. Mental violence fits the bill. #VAWAM #MEV
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
By the time a spouse identifies the true problem they have begun to feel as if they are crazy. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
A victim will doubt themselves & their sense of reality. Emotional abuse is meant to make the victim question their every behavior. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Today, I am planning to look at the different examples of emotional violence around us, and see if we can learn to identify them #VAWAM #MEV
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Emotional violence is prevalent and powerful, but it is something that we can begin to address as soon as we identify it. #VAWAM #MEV
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
To analyze an interaction and determine if it is #MEV would take an experienced professional, but feelings don’t lie – CORNERED #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Sarcasm, insults, aggression, deprivation of needs or attention, slander, taunts, insinuations, disbelief… are often #MEV || #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Feelings of being misunderstood are often a symptom of #MEV as are depression, abandonment or even irrational behavior #VAWAM #MEV
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
This. The crux of the matter => RT @angadc: The abuser knows no apology, making you feel perpetually wrong #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
RT @womensweb: @ImpsMom supporting daughters post marriage – still a rare phenomenon sadly. @monikamanchanda @VAWMonth
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
With #MEV, it is important to remember that constantly being “in the wrong” is about your situation and not a result of your actions #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Social hierarchies, norms, prejudices. Interpersonal power struggles, jealousy. Conditions of deprivation or insecurity. Breed #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Attention is power. More so in #MEA. An achievement of an abuser is to narrow your world till you are only thinking of him/her. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Mental/Emotional Violence is an act. Abuse is a pattern of such acts established as norm. Sensitivity to #MEV helps escape abuse #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Social stereotypes and norms of behaviour are #MEV – a way of keeping the woman looking over her shoulder, wary of disapproval and attack.
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
#MEV does not only happen in homes. It can happen anywhere where two people interact. Workplace, market, whatever. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
If you have experienced emotional, verbal or mental abuse either at home or the workplace & would like to share your experience, mail us.
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Three key things enable #MEV 1. Secrecy 2. Social Sanction 3. Lack of opposition. You should act on all three to defuse. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
1. Secrecy: no one knows #MEV is happening and the impact on victim. May happen out of sight, or it may not be seen as abnormal. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
2. Social sanction: people agree. Or fail to make disagreement known. Becomes “allowed” and “right” to target the victim #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
3. Lack of opposition: when there is no person or system in place to prevent the perpetrator from enacting his imposition #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Every time you tell a person to keep quiet for “their own good” you sabotage what little progress they struggle to make. #VAWAM #MEV
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
As you can see, what is politeness and a reluctance to interfere with or comment on “private matters” ends up adding power to #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
If you suspect a neighbor or friend of acting violently toward a woman would you feel comfortable intervening? What would you do? #vaw #fb
Bell_Bajao
October 3, 2011
For those who missed it – my post on “How to fight Domestic Abuse” http://bit.ly/mOu29G Read. Act. From now on. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
@rajrambhia it can, but it depends. It can also cause an escalation. Every situation is different. #MEV
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Almost as dangerous as violence is allegations of it when there has been none. #VAWAM @VAWMonth
orangejammies
October 3, 2011
It is common to feel helpless. No solutions may appear. But it is already an intervention even if you say “I see you doing this” #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
If u r a man who knows of domestic violence against a woman u know, BE a real man and report it. #Pakistan #VAW @VAWMonth #women
anthonypermal
October 3, 2011
#VAWAM = Violence Against Women Awareness Month || #MEV = Mental and Emotional Violence – today’s topic @Eknex
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
“@GayatriiM: 🙂 RT “@subhadra_72: The faults of husbands are often caused by the excess virtues of their wives. @vidyut
mazher50
October 3, 2011
Previous RT is a sarcastic one. Where “excess virtues” are the ones promoted “suffering, sacrifice and silence”
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
You feel as if you don”t have the energy it would take to fight back against their controlling behavior. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
You feel a sense of depression and anxiety most of the time. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
The more important thing when it comes to #MEV is focus on the victim/yourself. What is the impact on you? How can it be defused? #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
In the following tweets, we will post some tactics emotional abusers use with their victims. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Tactic 1: Isolating a spouse from friends and family. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Tactic 2: Discourage any independent activities such as work; taking classes or activities with friends. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Tactic 3: Accuse their spouse of being unfaithful if she talks to a member of the opposite sex. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Tactic 5: Constantly criticize the spouses weight, their looks, they way they dress. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Tatctic 6: If the spouse does not give into the control they are threatened, harassed, punished and intimidated by the abuser. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Tactic 7: Uses the children to gain control by undermining the other parent”s authority or threatening to leave & take the children. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Tactic 9: Make all major decisions such as where to live, how to furnish the home and what type of automobile to drive. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
People, who use emotional abuse to control others, use tactics similar to what prison guards use on prisoners of war. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Emotional abuse robs a person of their self-esteem, the ability to think rationally, confidence, independence and autonomy. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
If any of the following tweets seem familiar, it may be time to seek help: Isolation from others, you rarely see friends and family. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Excessive dependence on him/her. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
You constantly think about saying or doing the right thing so that your spouse does not become upset. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
You live in the moment, unable to plan ahead because you fear your spouse”s response to any plans or ideas you have. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
Mental abuse tends to acquire a cycle of events & behavioral patterns very distinct to a person inflicting suffering on the other. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
You doubt your ability to stand-up and speak your own mind and express your own opinions. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
The following tweets have some reccomendations on how to end the cycle of emotional and mental abuse. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
You feel as if anything you do or say will be met with anger or dismissal. Your feelings & desires don”t matter to your spouse. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
The victim’s agreement or lack of challenge to being always at fault allows rampant #MEV. Social norms create this set up. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
These include a constant effort to show the other that he or she is the boss of the house. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
The abuser will always behave in a way that he or she is normal and there is nothing going wrong. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
The abuser is always aware of what he or she is doing and is well equipped with justifications and excuses. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
There is always a tendency to plan and set things up to blame, fight and hurt the partner. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
DIL has no standing in new family – until she produces a son, gains power as a MIL – cycle repeats. @VAWMonth @pbkulkarni
womensweb
October 3, 2011
The abuser knows no apology, making you feel perpetually wrong #VAWAM
angadc
October 3, 2011
!. Realize that you cannot change your partner, only your reaction to them. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
2. Your energy is most effective when you change yourself and your reactions. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
3. Set new, reasonable terms for the relationship with clear and consistently implemented consequences. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
4. Set up clear, reasonable boundaries for an honorable relationship and to consistently stick to them. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
6. Understand the dynamics of the relationship. Physical attraction, repeating past patterns learned from a parent, etc. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
7. Be responsible for your safety. You are the only one who can create safety for yourself. You do this by making choices. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
8. Don’t hesitate to get professional help if you feel you are unable to cope anymore. Ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
And last but the most important, Know when to say goodbye. See that being treated poorly by another adult is unacceptable. #VAWAM
kiranmanral
October 3, 2011
If you are a victim of emotional, mental and verbal abuse, seek help from friends and family. You don’t deserve to be a victim. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
It does not get better, unless you get out #VAWAM
angadc
October 3, 2011
Nobody deserves to be a victim. No one ever asks for it. Everybody deserves to be treated with respect. And Women, love yourself. #VAWAM
ImpsMom
October 3, 2011
Never undermine yourself. Cause at the end of the day, you have to look after yourself. Treat yourself with respect and love. #VAWAM
ImpsMom
October 3, 2011
The best thing to protect yourself from #MEV is to question – “You have criticized three things about me in last 10 mins. Why?” #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
With #MEV, it is important to remember that constantly being "in the wrong" is about your situation and not a result of your actions #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Udupi: Promising National Athlete hangs herself to death due to "Emotional Harassment" http://t.co/fiail3io #VAWAM
maps4aid
October 3, 2011
TL flooded with #VAWAM tweets ..a bit saddening to read first thing in the day, but so required no?
chicalit
October 3, 2011
‘Afraid’ of being harassed by a boy, a girl of Binjalpur village confines herself to her room for a week http://t.co/FLoGgefn #VAWAM
maps4aid
October 3, 2011
Mental/Emotional Violence is an act. Abuse is a pattern of such acts established as norm. Sensitivity to #MEV helps escape abuse #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
#MEV does not only happen in homes. It can happen anywhere where two people interact. Workplace, market, whatever. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
It is easier to fight #MEV the sooner you speak up. Waiting for a "better time" doesn’t work. You may not leave, but definitely fight #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Three key things enable #MEV 1. Secrecy 2. Social Sanction 3. Lack of opposition. You should act on all three to defuse. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
1. Secrecy: no one knows #MEV is happening and the impact on victim. May happen out of sight, or it may not be seen as abnormal. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
2. Social sanction: people agree. Or fail to make disagreement known. Becomes "allowed" and "right" to target the victim #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
3. Lack of opposition: when there is no person or system in place to prevent the perpetrator from enacting his imposition #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
I think a lot of women don’t speak up coz as a society we look down upon broken marriages. We have glorified "adjustment" #VAWAM
RashmiPutcha
October 3, 2011
Every time you tell a person to keep quiet for "their own good" you sabotage what little progress they struggle to make. #VAWAM #MEV
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
As you can see, what is politeness and a reluctance to interfere with or comment on "private matters" ends up adding power to #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
For those who missed it – my post on "How to fight Domestic Abuse" http://t.co/CYM62Tba Read. Act. From now on. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Reading #VAWAM . Pondering, feeling hopeless, helpless for many women in abusive situation. I pray for superhuman strength for them.
ikaveri
October 3, 2011
It is common to feel helpless. No solutions may appear. But it is already an intervention even if you say "I see you doing this" #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
@Vidyut In my experience, another reason why people could emotionally abuse me was because I thought it was MY fault. #VAWAM #MEV
pathipen
October 3, 2011
Avoid counter accusations, though tempting. Instead, use facts. “You have asked me not to do 6 things I like in an hour” #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Bring attention to the impositions without attributing intent or accusing. It can make people learn if they are not defending. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
@Vidyut I always tried to understand why I was being criticized instead and searched for these so called faults. Obviously, it was a mistake
pathipen
October 3, 2011
NEVER get into counter accusations, because they escalate the conflict, and you are the one in danger. Though they seem “right” #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
The most important thing to accept about an #MEV situation is that you may not be able to fix it, and it is ok to exit. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
You own your life. Many will argue reasons, but you are not required to cater to God complexes. You know. That is enough. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Do NOT trust anyone who wants you to stay in a situation you feel unsafe in, to compromise to remain safe or stay silent. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
My suggestions may seem very undramatic, but it takes little to defuse #MEV is there is no intent of harm. If it fails, you need help #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
@Vidyut What to do when that someone is your own parent, although thy say it in the hope that in the end all will be well!!!
wnder_if_am_gud
October 3, 2011
Even if it is your parents, don’t trust their thought processes on staying in unsafe situations. @wnder_if_am_gud
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Making virtues out of “Suffering, sacrifice and silence” is how the world has got free slaves to run empires. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
#epic RT @Nisharp @nainysahani my cousin is married in a family where few men are from police n believe tht was th reason to pay more dowry!
Vidyut
October 3, 2011
Sort of apt that its kanjak today and my timeline is full of #VAWAM tweets. Respect the women in your house not just celebrate.
chicalit
October 3, 2011
ha so this month is violence against women month – Same time where devi is celebrated for 9 days across India. Supreme irony
centerofright
October 3, 2011
where is the irony? @centerofright
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Real life has no knight in shining armor coming up to pull you out of a sorry situation. Forget what the fairytales taught you. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 3, 2011
@Nisharp You know, sounds crude, par zor se bologe toh sunenge. You HAVE TO TALK BACK.No other solution.We need our women stronger. @Vidyut
nainysahani
October 4, 2011
Confident women offend because there is an unspoken expectation that women don’t draw attention – clothes, voice, attitude, profession…
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
@Vidyut @aktiwary i also have a daughter, a perfect life, never suffered any violence but sumwhre deep down i was a bit scared abt my girl..
wnder_if_am_gud
October 4, 2011
Efforts for change are achieved by laying down new “terms and conditions” of the relationship — rules of fair conduct and treatment. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 4, 2011
Refuse to accept being spoken down to, being insulted, your capabilities being questioned. Don’t stop believing in yourself. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 4, 2011
Some tweets on how to heal from an emotionally abusive relationship coming up. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 4, 2011
Healing from emotional abuse rarely starts with a change in the abuser — it starts with a change in the victim. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 4, 2011
A big mistake women often make to suppressive requests (me included) is to obey to avoid hassle/trouble. Only invites more. #MEV VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Many abusers continue to abuse simply because the victim fails to recognize or will not be honest about the recurring abuse. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 4, 2011
When requested to not do something that is normal, ask why and “grant” concessions or reassure concerns. Stay in charge. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
RT @VAWMonth: It is up to you to draw the lines in your relationship and stop allowing this trespassing of your boundaries to occur. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
It is up to you to draw the lines in your relationship and stop allowing this trespassing of your boundaries to occur. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 4, 2011
Let your partner know that allow disrespect went unchallenged in the past, this is a new era in the relationship. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 4, 2011
In advanced stages of abuse, change may be too late, despite your best efforts. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 4, 2011
Remember, the most important decision you can make as a victim of emotional and mental abuse is to REFUSE to be the victim anymore. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 4, 2011
Many times a sudden change in the victim”s attitude will perplex the abuser. #VAWAM
VAWMonth
October 4, 2011
Suck it up. RT @vishayvastu: @Vidyut the problem is when someone gives you open request. Then you gals deny, so what to do 🙂 ?
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Prev tweet: Any person has the right to make their own choices. They are not required to cater to anyone’s wishes unless they want to.
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Many women conform to expectations hoping that they will find acceptance one day – I call it the Cinderella complex #MEV VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Many men claim to support confident women … as long as they approve of what the women say. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
When I discuss women’s rights, people ask me why not talk about men being harassed by women. Attention wars. Attention is power. MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
I am not saying women never harass men. I am questioning the need to interrupt and hijack attention being given to women #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
For example… RT @kadiansandeep: @Vidyut First women should stop harassing fellow women #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
@Vidyut First women should stop harassing fellow women #VAWAM
KadianSandeep
October 4, 2011
Whenever you try to stop attention on something and provide alternatives… I question why. Are you saying this is not a problem? #MEV VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Interesting how this discussion is nudged into a domestic violence corner. That was day before yesterday. #MEV happens everywhere. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
I don’t advocate confrontations because Attention is power. Like trolls, abusers thrive on objections. @Musunurii
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
We can end all violence against women. South Asia regional campaign http://t.co/VGhtqqGx #VAWAM
lathu
October 4, 2011
http://t.co/YEUsoQpQ @VAWMonth #VAWAM
tikulli
October 4, 2011
Stop violence against women. Society and individual alike. http://t.co/2Avh3Jxp #VAWAM
ikul_ak
October 4, 2011
Women who want to wait and see how life unfolds, arey life Draupadi ki sari nahi ke khinchti chali jaayegi, run! make a fresh start #VAWAM
AneelaBabar
October 4, 2011
The uneasiness with my advice that you are feeling is not about confrontation, but because it disempowers impositions on women. @Musunurii
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
WTFGenderSchool101 On street, fragment of conversation. 4-5 yo boy: “…. but all of them had…” Mom: “They are stupid. They are girls…”
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
I KNEW it. RT @kamaalrkhan: You can’t buy love but you can pay heavily for it.
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
All the #VAWAM tweets coming from women. That only women seem to care about violence against women surely something of a huge problem?
BhopalHouse
October 4, 2011
@ahmednkhan @Vidyut @beingjyoti thats good to hear, each one of us cn contribute if we try 2 stop any acts happening in front of us #VAWAM!
wnder_if_am_gud
October 4, 2011
@BhopalHouse Good point. Not a good reflection at all… #VAWAM @supriyan
mohank
October 4, 2011
Let’s spend a short while on recognizing situations of #MEV and then immediately or later another short while on useful responses. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Have ya’ll read this one I wrote? http://t.co/DuvCc2Z9 Women and power: The Gender battle – Quite related to today’s subject #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
What situations are Mental or Emotional Violence against women? Specific situations. Tag #MEVSit only for more space to describe #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Making women lead in high risk initiative and men taking over in times of achievement – very common. I call it cannon fodder. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
“Allowing” women freedom to follow own choices only if she takes care of home first and does only approved things. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Convincing women to give up pursuit of freedom for the sake of home, while not requiring others to do so. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Dowry, other demands for money are Mental and Emotional Violence Situations #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Demanding young mothers give up jobs to care for kids – particularly in couples where women earn more leading to financial trouble #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Any sentence beginning with “It is the responsibility of the woman of the house to…” #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Blaming wife for husband’s alcoholism. – Extremely common “If you kept him happy, he wouldn’t drink so much” #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
#MEVSit RT @drpdesai: @Vidyut Still more: demanding women to give up jobs for getting infertility treated. First you conceive then work!
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Second wife / divorce and remarriage if no child/boy in a few years of marriage #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
The Abhimaan story RT @RajeevRoark: Refusal to admit Resentment of success of spouse and not even talking about it when asked #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Refusing a daughter to stay at home if she leaves her husband – harassing her into returning. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
“If you cared about your home you would..” at home || “If you cared about your career you would..” at work #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
@Vidyut Making divorce an indelible mark on the lady’s persona..it must have been her fault surely #MEVSit
wnder_if_am_gud
October 4, 2011
@Vidyut Blaming a working woman for the misdeeds of her child, all bcoz you are not a stay at home mom #MEVSit
wnder_if_am_gud
October 4, 2011
Blaming victims of rape and harassment for “tempting” the perpetrators #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Disallowing women the freedom of work, travel, time limits, clothes, companions … for “fear” of what could happen – #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Putting women down constantly for being stupid. Calling stupid. Interrupting. Overruling. Very common #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
In the world of humor, only women are blond. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
“The minute Humor is considered Abuse, You have lost your objectivity.” – try being “a blonde”. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Invading space, inappropriate, unwelcome touches in the guise of “helping” “friendship” and accusing “misunderstood” if refused #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
#MEVSit RT @beingjyoti: @Vidyut worst form of torture calling a woman kalinkini and apsaguni for bearing a female child.as if dey dnt know.
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Accusing/punishing small girls of immodesty, embarassing with pinches and pulls of arm… for flashing knickers while sitting #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Making days of periods known publicly and considering her impure, untouchable and less for being a normal fertile woman #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Teaching kids about the “faults” of their mothers and how they should act and how they should be punished #MEVSit – Extremely common
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
For those tuning in late, MEVSit = is a tag for Mental and Emotional Violence Situations. A Part of the ongoing #MEV for VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Badmouthing women who refuse advances, pressuring women to accept advances. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Character judgments on the basis of their habits. There is no logic to a woman who smokes/drinks being considered sexually easy. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Women smokers face far more criticism than men smokers. Not uncommon for utter strangers to come and tell them not to smoke. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
A woman who has an affair (and doesn’t marry) is considered the same as a prostitute and both are considered less than people #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
It is very common for a woman to hear taunts about her character at home if she is interested in a man. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Husband: I need a drawing made now – (will take 2-3hrs) Me: I am busy right now. Husband: remember the answer when you ask anything. #MEVSit
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
So, #MEVSit are some kinds of situations that put mental stresses on women with no cause for it. Often for just being a woman. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
What can be done about Mental and Emotional Violence? It is degrading, damaging and unfair. How can we practically deal with it? #VAWAM #MEV
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
So, what can you do if you are a victim of mental or emotional violence? #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Woman commits suicide after suffering from police abuse in Murshidabad. Sign this Appeal Letter #VAWAM… http://t.co/R1lEraec
fight_abuse
October 4, 2011
RT @maps4aid: 100 Crimes of Violence Against Women in India June – September 2011. Reported and Mapped. http://www.blogs4aid.com/index.php/2011-09-27-10-27-02/2011-09-27-10-28-07/246-violence-against-women-report-india-june-september-2011 #VAWAM #VAW
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
1. If you are suffering from #MEV, it is important to believe in yourself. At least you MUST be on your side. #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
2. Speak up. Don’t be Cinderella and suffer waiting for some Prince to rescue. Unless you speak up, no one knows you need help. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
3. Speak up. It is more difficult to abuse someone who understands what is happening and even if powerless, doesn’t “buy” it. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
4. Be alert to being bullied. The sooner you catch it, the better chances are for change. Disagree with what is being said. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
5. Treat orders as requests and retain your right to reject them. If forced, make defeat known. It is not agreement/compliance #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
6. Point out that your wishes are being overruled or dignity insulted and question the need for it. Expect respect and change. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
7. Avoid confrontations, fights and accusations and always have someone outside the environment in the know of what is happening #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
8. If #MEV continues, but you are very certain of lack of intent to hurt you, consider joint counseling – if the abuser agrees #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
9. Engage mediators and constant third presence to prevent further abuse and provide space to work things out. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
10. At all times, have an exit plan. Thinking is unclear under stress. Knowing exactly what you will do helps if things go bad. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
11. Keep resources handy. Ask for help before you need it. Save money, documents in a way accessible to only you if you leave #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
12. If you feel unsafe, attempts to ensure respect fail, or if #MEV escalates, exit ASAP. Don’t second guess yourself. Move. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
13. Do not count on anyone who sees your leaving your situation as tragic. They WILL sabotage your move. Intentionally or not. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
14. Accept all help. Specially money, accommodation and necessities. What you don’t need, you can offer to someone else later. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
15. Find organizations that will help. Unhesitatingly ask for help you need. Independence takes time and failing will be worse. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
16. If you fear being forcibly restrained. Forget all else, get out. Whatever opportunity. With or without your necessities. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
17. If there is controlling and aggression, blackmail, alcoholism, mental instability, threat of violence. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
18. You can return with help to retrieve your essentials, be safe first. I know a woman who opened door for guests and ran out #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
19. Don’t be talked into returning. Any negotiation, do in neutral territory in presence of other authority figures. #MEV #VAWAM
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
20. Good Luck! Done.
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
Men use conversation to establish status,or for “information,” while women use conversation to establish closeness. ~ Deborah Tannen attr.
Vidyut
October 4, 2011
in most cases of domestic violence liquor is not the reason, it is the shield behind which the coward hides #VAWAM
distilled_view
October 4, 2011
Girls Abusing Girls? Panchkula girls record friend after stripping her, circulate… http://t.co/l4iWbtz5 #VAWAM #vaw
maps4aid
October 4, 2011
@kiranmanral many woman does not enjoy the financial or social freedom to say goodbye even when they r suffering.thats the problem #VAWAM
krisbiju
October 4, 2011
Awesome work on gender and archetypes. http://bit.ly/ntlOrn Warning: Serious stuff. Warning II: Not for those who already know everything
Vidyut
October 4, 2011

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Vidyut
Vidyut is a blogger on issues of National interest. Staunch advocate of rights, learning and freedoms. @Vidyut

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