- I let her do less work is she is tired – often cleaning floor is on alternate days. I see no reason to just make her work whether the house is untidy or not.
- I feed her almost daily.
- I often have her kids over.
- She spends a lot of time playing with Nisarga and taking him on walks.
- Her services are used by both me and my son. After she has done dishes, sweeped, mopped, she spends an extra hour doing whatever is needed. And I do mean whatever. Be it drying clothes, tidying room, kitchen, chopping vegetables, kneading dough, running errands, taking care of Nisarga…. whatever. The extra payment is for her time and support. Not for specific services. And she does that wonderfully.
- I don’t ask her to help me with the house if Nisarga is awake, because he absolutely adores her, and wants her to take him out on walks. I want him to get her time as much as possible because (a) he loves it. (b) she is superb with him (c) Much as I love the little sweetheart, I need to get at least some time without having to drop anything I am doing the minute Nisarga calls.
- I offer food to her, because I have it. She does not force me to feed her or demand. I ask her because I have worked hard too, and I know how hungry one can get after putting in a couple of hours of work. Being hungry is not a sin, feeding another is not a sin. there are no compulsions either way.
- Contrary to the belief that “I feed her”, it is also often her bringing over something delicious she made or once from another place she works at (party got cancelled, she got about a kilo of freshly purchased fish!). It is mutual. If I feed her more, it is also because the location is my house, so my food is around more often.
- Taking a kid outside for a walk three times in an hour is not “doing nothing”. It can be freaking exhausting, particularly since Nisarga is often stiff and difficult to carry. If it is, Nisarga would be happy to test drive her a few days and see if she is able to even do nothing.
- Her kids spending time at our place is also good for Nisarga and they are no trouble. I even enjoy learning with them.
- Nisarga is a kid, so his needs are not important. They should not guide my choices. Particularly on paid services.
- The maid is a servant and her effort has no worth.
- If the maid looks happy, that means she is getting a deal she does not deserve. <– the inhumanness of this takes my breath away.
- As a mother, I am somehow inferior to outsource mothering for money [says the woman whose kid always went to day care – even after school]
Founder at Aam Janata
Vidyut has a keen interest in mass psychology and using it as a lens to understand contemporary politics, social inequality and other dynamics of power within the country. She is also into Linux and internet applications and servers and has sees technology as an important area India lacks security in.
Latest posts by Vidyut (see all)
- Open letter to the Chief Justice of India - April 13, 2019
- Nationwide Protest by NREGA workers #NREGASangharshMorcha - March 2, 2019
- Repression of Activists cannot stop the second Kisan Long March - February 16, 2019