All in the eye of the beholder

So this picture is obviously faked, but imagine what we as a country could achieve!So this picture is obviously faked, but imagine what we as a country could achieve!

It is not new that sexual harassment of women is at an all time high. It is also not new that people in power are simply not interested in doing anything about this. Considering that they are busy blaming women for the crimes happening against them, and considering that leaders are sharing porn clips among themselves – porn clips of women raped and beheaded – I don’t think anyone is particularly interested in what happens to the women.

This leads me to believe that the objective IS to enjoy women, abandon their safety by telling them to manage it themselves. When you look at things like this, we are making definite progress. However, we still aren’t perfect, but a shining milestone was achieved a couple of days back, when finally, a bunch of people wandering onto a rape scene joined in on the rape. This is good, because the efficiency ratio was really high. Imagine 16 men satisfied by only 2 women. This is excellent. We have less and less women in the country, and this is the future anyway, I suppose.

It is all in how you look at it. What is the need at all to bother with what a few women think?

Welcome the future!

We are closer to six sigma. Consider this situation:

A girl got called by her boyfriend to a remote location. She went with her cousin. What is it Sheila Dixit had said? Not to go alone? That was good advice. 16 men with one girl would have gotten crowded. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Turns out ┬áthat the boyfriend, Javed was a fantastic guy. Not only did he want to rape her, he was cool with the sharing thing. So, he and his friends all got to have come good harmless fun.

In other news, remember me saying that we need to become more accepting about sex in order to prevent crimes? Well… this is more efficient, no? Absolutely public sex. Anyone can walk in and join in. It doesn’t get more open than this! Just like a porn video, someone said. Apparently there are porn videos where anyone can walk in and have sex. Will finish posting the article and get on Google. I need an education. BTW, absolutely thoughtful election campaign. A significant number of our population are indeed rapists.

And here is what makes us truly great as a nation. Passerby’s joined in. Would have really sucked if the boys having harmless fun had to stop or something. Particularly if everyone hadn’t got their turn. Most unfair. Passerby’s were understanding and even supported the conservation of women effort by raping these two instead of going and finding more for themselves. Nice, those ┬ácan now be useful on another day.

So this picture is obviously faked, but imagine what we as a country could achieve!

This is the future of India. Such progressive people. Such modern, inclusive thinking. Vikram Bharti is the stepson of a local corporator and I think it is excellent that he made sure that the BJP is never seen as a party of mediocre, impotent old coots who can’t get a hard on themselves and only end up watching. Virility is important. Also good that two advocates sons were among the rapists. That way, it will be easy to showcase everyone’s achievements, and get the Supreme Court to lay off meddling in people’s personal matters.

The only kicker here is that the media is biased against the Congress. One of the rapists was the grandson of a Congress corporator, but they are not giving them credit as due. It is all a conspiracy to make Congress look incapable of keeping the women in their place. Going to be really embarassing for Shiela Dixit after she finds that all her enabling and recommendations to girls worked, but they failed to bring name and fame to the Congress, because media just wouldn’t name. Truly, this country is going to the dogs. Credit be where credit is due, I say.

As a side observation, I want to mention that those concerned about the Food Crisis in India can stop worrying. If we are to remember a certain hero’s words, people rape because they eat food that makes them do such things. We have here irrefutable proof that our nutrition is almost exclusively aphrosodiacs. And if you think that’s cheap, ask our leaders the cost for Viagra and learn. It would be easy to dismiss this as only the elite being able to get good food, but here’s the kicker – passerby’s went from zero to take off in no time at all. What are the chances that passerby’s were only elites?

So, all of you, quit whining. India is doing just fine.

My suggestion. These guys should be nominees for next year’s Padma awards for revolutionizing sex in India. Immediately, they should be gifted T-Shirts with this print by no less than the President of India.

The true sons of the soil must be provided this T-Shirt to facilitate their good work

And this should go on the back:

Some harmless fun

I have been asked to inform patriotic women that they should carry condoms, a few porn magazines, and other easily carried items that will make sex pleasurable to do their bit for the Nation’s objectives.

Thank you.

If you don’t understand this is satire, you have bigger problems than this article.

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About the Author

Vidyut is a blogger on issues of National interest. Staunch advocate of rights, learning and freedoms. @Vidyut

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