Why do you call it SLUT-Walk?

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Jun 082011

This post addresses a lot of questions being raised by the slutwalk. Mostly in conversations on Twitter (because questions raised are similar, and I can embed tweets as questions more easily.

But first things first. If the below is similar to your response, you may first want to read an earlier post on women and rape and then the one explaining what a slutwalk is, before proceeding, because otherwise, the rest of the post may only be unnecessary confusion.

Response to the post on Slutwalk on Facebook

Please dont get me wrong but its Triveni Sangam….Exhibitionism in Name of Feminism to the Delight of Voyuerism……..jokes apart a shallow superficial attempt entertaining though……common sense says yes we have a right to carry a wallet ir purse but if you flash it be prepared to face what may follow…….

To understand the idea of a slutwalk, it is important to first see women as people deserving of dignity in their own right, not allocated dignity on the basis of judgments by others.

As the idea matures, many questions are raised, concerns voiced, discomforts addressed. Here are some of the main ones I noticed.

http://twitter.com/MihirBijur/status/78421474398052353

There is a lot of discomfort at the word “slut” being used. Some triviliaze the protest.

https://twitter.com/#!/phand00/status/78477519879274496

https://twitter.com/#!/ThatVinitGuy/status/78413214467096577

And it is not necessarily people who would judge women thus. Its an ugly word. It is entrenched as one kind of woman very deeply into our psyche. And that is not a “good” kind of woman.

http://twitter.com/madversity/status/78429674623086592

Let me begin with saying that Madhavan Narayanan is a man I respect tremendously and I can say with a lot of confidence that he wouldn’t be demeaning women for sure. He has been one of my earliest follows on Twitter, and I have found his words to be an inspiring mix of insight and humor. Without taking himself or the world too seriously to get rigid, he is able to question the crux of many matters in a humorous way that bypasses resistance and invites conversation.

It is a measure of how much power the word “slut” has, when it has a person usually never at a loss for words admitting discomfort at its use. It is an embarassing word. It is a word not uttered in decent company. Certainly not with a woman. Even on Twitter. Not even when you have no such attitude.

But there are people for whom this word is a tool. It is a tool to engage in what is essentially a hate crime, or bullying and excuse themselves by deeming a certain quality of the target as legitimate for degradation. It is an attitude of excusing crime, of disempowering women and of creating an unsafe society.

It is also not only about women. This attitude is used for everything from eve teasing to child abuse and gay bashing to rape. It is about a way of thinking that excuses crimes by calling a person a legitimate target. Also practiced by families, parents, guardians to punish the victim for being the target of a criminal. From honor killings to husbands accusing wives of “provoking” lechers. It is an acceptance that allows jokes about rape victims as normal conversation, or makes lewd comments about someone funny. It is one that allows public figures to make hideous comments like rapes curing lesbianism. And it is not only men who do it. Women judge too. It is a social reality. One that makes many people unsafe.

Read an old old post on women’s clothing and social judgements

It is not just the word slut. It is an attitude. An attitude that no one feels able to own in the light of attention, but holds as reality in assessing the world. In judging someone as worthy of being abused because of what they wear, how they act or other circumstances or qualities.

In the words of THE original women who slutwalked:

Historically, the term ‘slut’ has carried a predominantly negative connotation. Aimed at those who are sexually promiscuous, be it for work or pleasure, it has primarily been women who have suffered under the burden of this label. And whether dished out as a serious indictment of one’s character or merely as a flippant insult, the intent behind the word is always to wound, so we’re taking it back. “Slut” is being re-appropriated.

We are tired of being oppressed by slut-shaming; of being judged by our sexuality and feeling unsafe as a result. Being in charge of our sexual lives should not mean that we are opening ourselves to an expectation of violence, regardless if we participate in sex for pleasure or work. No one should equate enjoying sex with attracting sexual assault.

And I agree. “SLUT” stays. The only way I would support changing the word was if it could be changed to be understood by more Indians – take your pick:

randi-chaal or chinnar-morcha?

Get it? Having bad names for women is the problem. Get rid of them, and you don’t need to be embarrassed.

So, join us in de-shaming them. Find a slutwalk in your city, or better still, organize one.

Respect is an attitude. Dignity is a right. #slutwalk Don’t judge us for your thoughts.

Delhi is slutwalking on 25th June 2011

Mumbai has one planned.

Details of both will be added soon.

http://twitter.com/sanjukta Sanjukta Basu

But didn’t this whole campaign start because women were
tired of being called slut all the time and met with violence, so they said,
“hey if we are slut so be it. You still don’t have the right to molest us.”

Indian women are not called slut, that word don’t exist in our vocabulary, so then?

It is ironic that this long argument about the word ‘slut’ is on a forum called
“Aam Junta.” In case you don’t know who the aam junta is, because perhaps
you are an upper class English speaking urban woman living in a metro city?? Let me tell you, the
Aam Junta in this nation call a ‘loose’ women
‘randi.’ Few of the English speaking aam junta call women whore (refer the
famous song from DevD) but slut doesn’t exist in Indian vocabulary.

Words hurt, even when you try to reclaim them as part of your liberal feminism.
It is very easy to participate in a walk when it is called a ‘slut’ walk
because it has got that polished American touch to it, true its an abuse but a
western one, and we love everything the white people do. Call this same
campaign in the Indian language, Randi Morcha, and then let me see how many
girls come forward. How many carry a banner saying “Main Randi hun jo
chahe ukhaar lo”

http://aamjanata.com vidyut

I would love for it to be called Randi Morcha. In fact, that is the alternative name in Hindi being planned, I think when I spoke with the organizers last. “Slut” is not all that unknown in the urban masses, but I agree with you as a whole, that there is nothing to reclaim about slut in India.

Randi really is the perfect word for this, because it is recognized by virtually everyone. One misgiving I have is that it is almost exclusively about prostitutes – as in a woman dressed in a certain way is unlikely to be called randi. Which kind of defeats part of the purpose – because its about attitudes toward women in general, but I suppose we can’t have it all.

More than whore, I think “cheap” signifies a lot of character judgments – particularly for women. So that’s another option.I do live in Mumbai, but I’m not upper class unless you count having a home in Mumbai as being a millionaire by default. I don’t own the home. I live a hand to mouth existence, with endless bills unpaid. My ex-maid earns more than me, whom I discontinued because I couldn’t afford. This blog would have been off air, if not for a reader sponsoring a server. Having good English is a fact of education, not attitude. It is not helpful to classify people like that. Not offended. I suppose its a natural assumption by someone angry about inequity and double standards. Just saying that it doesn’t help to unnecessarily polarize either.Nor was I always a Mumbaiite. http://bit.ly/kqc2kq For some nomadic memories.

http://twitter.com/sanjukta Sanjukta Basu

I agree, even Randi doesn’t fully convey the meaning. I wonder which word does. Basically we don’t have any word that labels a woman as per her choice of clothing. Because by default Indian women are over dressed. Skimpy don’t come naturally to them. But their behaviour, mannerism, make up style etc are of constant criticism, and you are right the most common word is probably ‘cheap’ or ‘despo’

of course I myself don’t know what are the words used in small towns or villages, as I grew up in a city.

I should have said upper middle class, because frankly speaking I don’t expect such political thoughts from the really upper class. I am judgmental of their affluence. But both you and I are upper middle class if we compare ourselves to the majority of India.

so anyway, since the word didn’t have significance it remains to be seen how the campaign will have any impact. I hope it does, because I am all for the cause. I hope I am wrong when I say it is not likely to have an impact.

http://aamjanata.com vidyut

I think there needs to be more noise around this. Public debates of the type we are having, more written in Hindi…. otherwise, the man on the street has no clue that the ogling he is happily engaging in is being protested.

http://profile.yahoo.com/XK2HMWXAT4SMO74IPXPTU5RKTE Peter

Girls everywhere and all you emasculated “men” who are trying so hard to be politically correct at the expense of your masculinity, listen up.

Men and women are equals. This does not mean that they are equal in every single thing they do. For example, men are, on average, physically stronger than women. It is much easier for a semi attractive (even a 6/10) woman to go out and get laid. The same cannot be said about men. Men have to work at it, have some skill (game) and thereby get a woman to sleep with them. It is a LOT harder for an equally attractive man to get women than it is the other way around. This is one of reasons behind why we, as a society, naturally celebrate men who are successful in bedding multiple women; while at the same time shame women who bed multiple men.

Let us briefly visit the topic of virginity from both perspectives. Virginity in a man is not a desirable state or label when it comes to an attribute that the opposite sex wants. This is because he has obviously not been preselected by other women. However, female virginity is not looked at negatively in the least by men. If she looks decent, no man cares if the girl is a virgin or not. In fact, a female virgin is often wanted more.

Now don’t get me wrong, men LOVE sluts. We will never turn down an opportunity to sleep with a good looking slut. Partly because she’s good in bed, partly because it’s sex. But any decently intelligent, self-respecting man will know that it is a terrible idea to emotionally involve himself (i.e. date) with a slutty girl. That would be a very dumb move. Why would any man want to get emotionally involved with a girl who’s had 15+ sexual partners? We would just be setting ourselves up for failure. There are many nice worthy girls out there who don’t have daddy issues and haven’t slept with an entire fraternity house. But, by all means, fvck the brains out of sluts in the meanwhile.

Most guys can detect when a girl is a slut by the first few dates and by what he hears about the girl from other people and from the girl herlself. We put this information together and figure out if she is dating material or not. If not, I like most guys, will still go in for the prize but have no intention of following through with dating the dirty little tart.

To put it simply, a lock that can be opened by many keys is a useless lock and of little worth. But a key that can open many locks is a master key and is valuable.

Funds needed

AamJanata

Why do you call it SLUT-Walk?