I grew up hearing his songs, mimicing dance moves, learning “break dance” from the mysterious appeal his graceful moves had. I heard of allegations of abuse, and saw them as a price of celebrity, without really believing one way or the other. Many judged him harshly about his changed looks.
Yet, if I have to think of the King of Pop, I don’t remember news headlines, but hours spent memorizing videos to catch nuances of moves, trying to spin with the kind of speed……… writing down and learning lyrics of favourite songs…..
Somehow, the music, and the gossip were so separate, it may not have been the same person.
Today, I got an SMS about his death. Hadn’t thought of him for a long time, and when I did, it was with all the snobbery of a grown up person who doesn’t really pay attention to “has been” celebrities. What I hadn’t expected was the sorrow I felt for the loss a man I barely knew beyond hearing his songs and knowing that the colour of his skin changed over time, and that there had been accusations about him in the news.
I found myself searching for news about what happened. Why did he die?
I read about his life, his struggles, his childhood, family, career, medications, surgeries, home……. and for the first time, this man was very real to me. A man who made lemonade with lemons he got, shared generously when he had fortune, had his share of good and bad luck, his share of insecurities, quirks, obsession with childhood and the quest for what he had missed…..
For someone who had a very public life, had been described as a character more than a person, and had admitted that he preferred the stage and real life people terrified him, Michael Jackson’s life, feelings, motivations and circumstances are so transparent in this moment, that I can’t help but think, how much real can we get than to have our deepest hurts, fears and vulnerabilities out there for anyone to know?
Jacko was human. He took the world by storm. He died. Whether he was perfect is irrelevant. What matters is that he made his mark. What matters is that he changed countless lives with his talent and generosity. What matters is that he will be missed.
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Jayanraj