Life as I find it

Fly like an eagle to the sea
Fly like an eagle let my spirit carry me!

I just love this song. A friend told me about her ebay shop and when I visited it, this is the song I wanted painted. To my mind, if there is any one song that inspires a visual, this is it.

Take a look whether you buy an artwork or not, come and tell me what song YOU would like painted.

An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring
all that evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What a powerful
river! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he was walking
alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge
towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over
his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow,
he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked
again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he
tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground.
As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him,
reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike
him.

“OH MY GOD! …”

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

Even the river stopped moving …

As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around…

“YOU
DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON’T EXIST
AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO
HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?”

Difficult
as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, “It
would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years,
but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?”

“VERY WELL.” Said God.

The light went out.

The river ran.

The sounds of the forest resumed.

…
and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together,
bowed his head and spoke: “Lord, thank you for this food which I am
about to receive.”

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Seriously, if I get another call to tell me how the caller is really interested in becoming a model or an actor, I’m going to scream. I can understand the powerful pull that films and other media have on people. The whole rush of imagining yourself being viewed and admired by a whole population. Nothing beats the imagination, so no matter what I tell you now is likely to not sound as appealing what you imagine when you think of yourself as a model, but bear with me. Let me share some facts:

• Everybody and his cousin wants to be a model. That “wannabe” is the easiest part - it doesn’t take much more than the desire to be admired by the world. However, do you have an idea of how many people have this desire? Really, models are a dime a dozen and if you want to get good work, I need a better reason than “want to give it a shot”, “want to be” etc. I’m not particularly interested in what you want. Tell me what you will deliver. Better still, show me in an audition that floors me with your talent and leaves me with no choice but to take you.
• Dreams of shooting usually involve make up men fussing around, fancy clothes, crowds begging for autographs, luxury, comfort, pampering…… money….. fame. Ok now let’s see the other side of the coin. Shoots are demanding. A director wants you to read his mind and be what he wants you to be for the camera - this may have absolutely nothing to do with who you are - not even that part of you that wanted the whole circus to begin with.
• Not all roles are for Oscar. Sometimes you are just needed to play an unremarkable character, because that character is in the film, someone needs to play it, and you’re the one that got selected to do it. Please understand that this is not your Oscar opportunity, and its going to piss the director off royally, if you keep trying to “discuss” a non-issue role, simply because you want to “perform at your best”. The director will let you know what’s required, and please take your cues from that. Believe me, if what you’re doing is not working, someone will definitely tell you.
• You may think you are an fantastic actor, but unfortunately its what the director thinks that counts. Also, a shot is not only about you. There are a whole load of things that need to be perfect in a shot at the same time, and one of them is you. A fuck up on any front - even a butterfly fluttering in front of some light and casting its shadow in the shot - could mean a repeat for all the whole load of things involved. If you think saying a boring sentence with passion each time for the 40th time is overkill, you might as well forget it, because you’re going to push the number of retakes even higher if you look unconvincing with what you’re doing, because you’re bored. Some shots need one take, and some leave the director dissatisfied even after a hundred takes. You don’t want to be the reason of that dissatisfaction, simply because your boredom with repetition made you lose focus and intensity.
• If you think acting is a nice, cushy piece of cake, you couldn’t be more wrong. It is demanding. You can have an easy day, but you can just as easily have a day where you’re doing something difficult through endless retakes, your legs ache, but you can’t collapse in a chair because of your costume, or worse, you can be dancing in a bikini on some snow covered mountaintop, because you’re shooting some Hindi film song…….
• Worse, while you are pampered, please don’t fool yourself that anyone cares if you’re dead on your feet. They just want you looking perfect for the shot, so taking care of you is an investment. Unfortunately, if you get tired even after all that care, you are still supposed to look fresh like a lily just out a a flower shop.
• Modelling work pays well only after you earn a certain amount of experience and reputation. Until then, its more like a series of job interviews (auditions) with no job in sight, and if and when you get one, its sure to be a totally uninspiring character with even worse payment - films and roles are not created with your specific acting dreams in mind. A film tells a story, and characters act it out. The goal is the telling of the story through visuals, not the satisfaction of every character with his/her role. That’s why they get paid. Think of it as hired labour, and you won’t be surprised with what happens. Think of yourself as a princess, and be prepared for the shock of being expected to slog for your money.
• Calling people to tell them of your interest in acting is meaningless. If I have a requirement, I’ll have an audition - that’s where you need to land up. Believe me, I will not be making personal calls to people to invite them to do me the honour of appearing for an audition. I tell the co-ordinators. If you’re enrolled, you’ll come to know. If you’re not, you won’t. Telling me personally is going to be no use, because I can’t possibly remember all the models who approach individually, and their numbers are out of the question, no matter how politely I tell you that ok, I’ll give you a call. Believe me, I NEVER do it, unless I know your work and want you specifically, by which time, you don’t need to contact me personally for work anyway.
• It is extremely irritating to have a new model hounding you for work. If you’re harassing me before we have ever worked together, damned if I’m going to pay money to bring you even closer to me. But you want work…… so what do you do? People have their own ways. But usually, what you should be doing is one of two things - first, send your pictures and make sure that your name and number is on the backs of all of them to ensure that you are visible and contactable for audition calls if a role suitable for your looks comes up. Second, ASK which co-ordinators are used for auditions and be sure to enroll with them. Co-ordinators are generally more tolerant with models, so you could specifically request to be told about audition calls from a particular company, or particular kind of role, etc. This will ensure that you get called for auditions where you stand a chance.
• Please understand that for all this “distancing” talk, the intention is never to turn away models. A film needs models to come alive, and film-makers will always want good models. So, if your picture is in the regular places it should be, and you attend audition calls when intimated, you will not be ignored, whether you are aware of the attention paid, or not. The idea is not to push you away, but to prevent models from cluttering the space and focus on them very specifically when there is a need for them. Think of it as having no need for lipstick when you are writing a letter. When you want to paint your face, you pick the lipstick you like best with great care.

It is not my intention to hurt anyone’s feelings with this “list of facts” but I find many new models confused, impatient or hurt with happenings, or totally clueless with ground realities if they get the chance to work. I think being aware of these simple things will help them understand the field better, as well as adapt themselves to circumstances that are demanding even in the best of times. I wish you all the very best of luck!